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The smell of blood was still fresh on my clothes as I sat on the edge of the bed in the dingy motel room, typing in the order on my phone. My head still spun from the revelation that Maren was pregnant, possibly with my child, and that my rival gang had raped her. Her ex-boyfriend had raped her. Just like she’d been raped when she was pregnant before as a teen. Raped by her own father.
I hoped to hell her baby was mine. I didn’t want Maren to have to suffer having her rapist’s child again. My hungry stomach churned just imagining it. Another thought intruded on my boundaries. The Gods had undoubtedly raped my sister before they killed her, too. She had been pregnant. Maybe with one of theirs. That fact hadn’t mattered when they strung her up. I didn’t believe for one second that Phobia and Ax planned to let Maren live.
As Maren stripped off her leather vest and slipped off her shit kickers, I headed to the john. Splashing water on my face, I didn’t want to think anymore. But as I cleaned the blood off my hands and face, I thought about all the secrets this woman had been keeping from me.
Merc gave me that file on her, so I knew that her daughter, who was supposed to be in Galveston, Texas, here, was actually dead. She died young. Her adoptive parents were somehow to blame, according to the public records. I found out that Maren was a fugitive from the law, wanted for murder in Indiana and Alabama, with so many aliases that it was hard to keep track. She killed her father who had raped her as a teen. I was happy about that. Yes, like she told me, she spent time in the looney bin, too. Though it had been more than the one time she claimed. She had run off to the circus after her gymnastic days, but she killed a man there too in a fit of rage. My heart heavy with the weight of her secrets, I wanted to ask her to tell me everything.
But when I stepped out of the bathroom, she only looked at me with those blue beautiful, haunted eyes. I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength. Without a word, she passed me on her way to the bathroom to clean up herself.
My desire for her was at odds with the danger that came with being with her. I knew that if I stayed with her, I would be putting my life on the line. My daughters were on the line. But I couldn’t deny the love that I felt for her, with child or not. I had made my decision. We would hide, and I would go back to Nashville alone once I had a foolproof plan to rescue my offspring. I would make sure that Maren was safe and that the child she was carrying would be taken care of. Consequently, if anything went wrong, one day we could be together again, without the danger and the secrets.
If I survived.
Maren stepped out of the restroom in nothing at all. My dick instantly became a boulder, heavy in my pants. With the day we had, I wanted nothing more than to forget everything and rip her in two. Fuck her all night. As I watched her lay down on the bed, her eyes heavy with exhaustion and sadness, I knew that it wouldn’t be that simple.
Tossing her the file, I laid down beside her, feeling guilty for having all this knowledge. And guilty for having my pants still on. Not because I wanted to fuck her right away, but because there was probably blood on them. I kept them on so we could talk.
Maren and I laid in silence for a few moments, staring at one another. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Inside, I was all jumbled up with chaos. Anger, passion and fear battled to dominate me.
She flipped through the pages of the file, smirking. “Some of this is a load of bull.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about any of this?” I finally spoke, my tone soft.
“When was I supposed to?”
“There was time. We talked all night when we’re fucking.”
“I was scared, okay?” She responded, her voice shaking. “You did come here to cart me back to your President. You are a monster.”
“You’re going to go there?” I growled, my rage getting the better of me.
“I’m sorry. But I don’t know your secrets. I don’t have a file on you. I bet it would be pretty thick,” she said.
“It would be,” I said, frustrated she was right about that.
“I know you aren’t called a monster for nothing. I was okay with that. I am okay with it.”
“I just don’t know what to believe anymore,” I said, running a hand over my bald head. “How can I trust you after all of this?”
She flung the file off the bed. “I know it’s a lot to take in,” she said, inching closer to me. “Did you expect to learn everything about me in the short time we had together?”
I closed my eyes. Maren made so much sense, especially the part where she didn’t know all my secrets. I was an outlaw biker, after all. She could never know them. I lost count of all my dirty deeds long ago. I couldn’t count the number of men I killed on all my fingers and toes. Maren was new to this world. Did that make a difference? We hardly knew each other. Yet, I was willing to risk everything for her. Before. And now.
“I need to know the truth,” I said.
“I need you, now more than ever,” she said, taking her leg up.
The contortionist she was, she tucked her ankle behind her head. I wouldn’t look down and be tempted to end our conversation, but I could imagine. Her fluidity was otherworldly. Maren could bend and twist in ways deemed impossible. Her spine was merely a supple coil that could arch backwards until her head came up between her knees.
Her legs could fold up to her chest like she was a pretzel. I had fucked her in the position before. Though that alone was a turn on, Maren oozed pure sensuality. She had an emotional intensity to her movements as she seamlessly transitioned from one pose to another. Her body flowed like water but vibrated with energy. Sexual energy.
Wanting her, I about bit my lip clean off, trying to control myself.
Her features became sultry as her hand dipped down. Disappeared. Was she pleasuring herself? I couldn’t look. I sealed my eyes shut.
Her slimy hand landed on my bare stomach and inched down, slowly moving toward my waistband. She was spreading her juices on me, marking me. My desire was evident, bulging in my pants, but I needed to know the truth.
“Maren,” I barked as she grabbed the mountain in my jeans. My eyes opened.
