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Savina laughed and did a quick retelling of the story. Wanda sat back in her seat when it was finished, her long fingers toying with her coffee cup lid. “Well, that was quite heroic of Hal.”
“It was,” Savina said shortly. “Anyway, it’s back to the drawing board, or dating app as the case may be, to try again.”
“Right.” Wanda gave her a look that made Savina squirm in her seat.
“What?” she asked.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Wanda asked.
“Nothing,” Savina said.
Wanda smiled. “I know we’ve only been friends for three months, but it feels longer, doesn’t it? Like we’ve been friends for years.”
“Yes,” Savina said.
“That’s probably why I can tell when you’re not telling me something,” Wanda said with another smile.
“Dammit,” Savina sighed. “Stop reading me so well, Wanda.”
“Can’t help it,” she said. “Now, spill.”
Savina hesitated before deciding to be honest. “Hal has been Alan’s best friend since they were teenagers. After Alan died, Hal was my rock. We were friends before Alan died, and we became, well, best friends after. Then one day last year, I started noticing how amazing his ass is and wondering what he would be like in bed, and I did a piss poor job of hiding it. Hal realized what was happening and … well, he drifted away, you know? We used to spend hours together, and now I’m lucky if I even run into him on the street. He’s avoided me for the last year, and it’s embarrassing as hell, and I miss him. The loss of his friendship is like another piece of my old life with Alan was torn away.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Wanda said.
“You haven’t heard the worst of it yet,” Savina said. “Hal and I fought at the clinic last Saturday about what happened on my date, and it ended with us kissing.”
“Wow.” Wanda sat up straight. “That’s… unexpected.”
“Tell me about it. Apparently, Hal is attracted to me too, and now I’m unsure what to do. Nathan caught us, which was beyond humiliating, and I took off like a coward. I called Hal the next day to apologize, but he didn’t answer the phone. I finally texted him, and I know he read it, but he hasn’t replied. He’s avoiding me again.”
She sipped at her coffee. “I’m so confused and don’t know what to do. I mean, do I force Hal to talk about what happened between us, to acknowledge that there’s something between us, or do I leave it be? The guilt on his face after we kissed… it made me feel terrible, Wanda. I can only imagine how awful he felt.”
“Maybe the guilt was more about… how can I put this… doing non-work related things while at work,” Wanda said.
“Maybe,” Savina said. “Which also makes me feel like a real jackass, and I don’t even know how much trouble he got into with Nathan because it’s not like I can casually ask Warren if Hal was disciplined at work.”
“Maybe you could stop by his place,” Wanda suggested.
“Honestly, I doubt he’d even answer the door,” Savina said. “I wish he would acknowledge the attraction between us. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so foolish or so guilty. And I think if we slept together, even once, it would help to….”
She stopped, rubbing her hand across her forehead. “Shit. I’m sorry, Wanda.”
“For what?” Wanda asked.
“Listening to me go on and on about my desire to bone Hal McGinnis isn’t what you need to hear right now. I’m being incredibly insensitive.”
Wanda shook her hand, reaching out to retake Savina’s hand. “No, you’re not. You’re a wonderful person who is going through some shit and needs to talk to a friend about it. I’m happy to be that friend, sweetheart.”
“Are you sure?” Savina asked. “I can’t help but think how I would have been at this stage of grief, and I’m not sure I’d be up to listening to my whining.”
“Yes, but you’re not me,” Wanda said. “I find it oddly helpful. You’ve gone through this horrible journey before me, and seeing you now gives me hope. Hope that eventually, this stupid all-consuming grief will diminish and that, with time, I might find myself willing to go on dates and take a chance on love again.”
She made a face. “Now I sound like the selfish one. I hate that you’re struggling with your feelings for Hal.”
“It’s not feelings,” Savina said. “It’s just an attraction. One that could be cleared up with a night of sex.”
“Right,” Wanda said.
