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She shrugs. “I like physical touch, especially holding hands. That’s a start, right?”
“Yeah.” But I’m sure that’s not all the ways she makes someone feel special. “I’m an acts of service, quality time, and physical touch kind of guy. Would that interest you?”
“Are you kidding? That would be a breath of fresh air.”
“None of the guys you’ve dated have been like that?”
“My high school boyfriend said PDA was stupid and embarrassing.” She turns somber.
“He sounds like a fidiot.”
“He was.” Suddenly, she studies the faux woodgrain of the table, her face solemn.
That gloomy expression bothers me. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”
She whips her stare up to me again. “What? Oh, sorry. I’m good.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, no. You’re fine. I just…haven’t thought of him in such a long time.”
“That bad?”
“It wasn’t good.”
I don’t expect her to share the details about her past relationships, but I also don’t like seeing her down. I reach across the table and take her hand. “Sounds like he was an asshole.”
“Yeah. He seemed sweet, honest, and understanding…at first.”
I think I know where her story is going. “Until he wasn’t?”
She nods. “High school guys can be such jerks. Chad seemed different, more sensitive. Every day, he had kind words for me. He asked how my day was. He gave me his umbrella when it rained and mine broke. Just…nice. And when we started dating, he called me his princess.”
I squeeze her fingers. “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
“It doesn’t really bother me anymore. But it taught me a valuable lesson about men. Of course, being young and dumb, I played into this fantasy he helped to create. Being with him made me feel like I was on cloud nine. But leading up to our one-year anniversary, he started pressuring me to have sex. Each time I said no, he got angry.”
“Why didn’t you break up with him?”
“He was my first boyfriend. I thought I was in love. I made excuses for his behavior. But I didn’t think I was ready. Looking back, I know I wasn’t.”
“Did he force you?” Because if he did, I’m going to be hard-pressed not to kill a fucker.
“Not physically, no. On our anniversary, he convinced me that, because we’d been together for so long, we should celebrate. I so badly wanted him to be happy, and I didn’t want another argument. So…I gave in.”
“The asshole coerced you. Did he hurt you?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“Not in the moment. The sex wasn’t great, but I romanticized it. After all, I was his princess. We were each other’s forevers. But afterward…Chad ghosted me. He wouldn’t return my phone calls, wouldn’t talk to me at school. But I knew right away that he’d told all his friends that he’d nailed me. Every time I walked past them, they leered like they knew what I looked like naked. It was humiliating.”
“What a bastard.” Granted, I haven’t always been great at considering the feelings of the women I left behind, but at least I didn’t brag to my friends. My mom drilled into me that a gentleman never kisses and tells.
“Eventually, I found out he told the whole school. It was the worst feeling of my life.” Her eyes well with tears. She tries to blink them away and force a smile. “But it was a long time ago.”
“Do you know why he did it?”
She shrugs. “It’s irrelevant now. Thankfully, I had Kami to help me through the torment and shame. She defended me when I couldn’t and taught me to hold my head high.”
“I’m glad you have a true friend like her.”
