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I DIDN’T GETto see Zac again yesterday after running into him and Bash on the courthouse steps, but we did text back and forth not long after that. Zac texted me first, asking me if I was okay. I let him know that I was still a tangled mess of nerves and then asked him what we were supposed to do since Bash figured out he and I were having an affair. Zac explained to me that there was nothing for either of us to do because Bash accepted and supported it. He supportedus. I smiled when I read that and liked Bash even more for not casting stones at his best friend and me.
I never intended for anyone to find out Zac and I were romantically involved with each other and couldn’t let that happen with another soul. It wasn’t going to be easy though, because Zac had the ability to melt me by just looking into my eyes. I was going to have to block him out whenever we were in the company of others such as Brooke and the rest of my team members, plus all of those in the legal community. I just wasn’t sure how I was going to do that yet.
Zac and I were finally able to talk on the phone last night after he got Malcolm fed, bathed, and tucked into bed. He toldme what Bash said about Lilith bewitching him—or rather,mebewitching Zac. My being compared to her took me aback for two reasons. The first one was due to the timing of Bash bringing up her name. It was coincidental considering I’d recently thought of myself as being in line with Lilith instead of Eve.
The second reason that I was taken aback by Bash’s statement was that I knew how negatively those in organized religion viewed Lilith. Whether she was once real or a total myth didn’t matter. She was known for being Adam’s first wife, who chose to buck his authority by not obeying him and was then banished from the Garden of Eden, forcing Adam to take a second wife in Eve. Lilith had been called a she-demon among other awful things, but I’d always thought of her as being a strong, fiery woman who stood up for herself by essentially giving Adam and his patriarchal reign over her the middle finger. I didn’t blame her either. I would’ve done it too.
After Zac told me that Bash meant his statement in a good way, I felt a whole lot better about it, but there was still a little twinge in my stomach by the time Zac and I hung up. I knew it was due to my being raised by a pastor-father and also having grown up in church. I was going to have to work harder to let all of that go, because if I didn’t, then my underlying guilt about this affair with Zac was going to take over and cause me to pull away from him again.
And I didn’t want to pull away from him.
Selfishly, I wanted Zac even knowing I’d never have him all to myself since he wore a gold band on his left ring finger. It didn’t matter that his marriage to Avery was a joke, either. Zac was legally bound to her and had chosen to remain that way because of Malcolm. I completely understood that. I also understood that my time with my lover was limited.
Undoubtedly, there was going to come a day when this pathway that he and I had agreed to journey down together wasgoing to split. Circumstances were going to cause him to go in one direction while I went in the other. Logically, it had to. Until then, though, I planned to relish every moment with Zac that I could steal from time.
The biggest challenge that I could see in this tricky game of hearts that we were playing with each other was stopping myself from falling in love with Zac. I’d already felt the early tugs of that deep emotion and had been able to stop them, but didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to continue doing that. Zachariah Dalton Buchanan was the kind of man a woman couldn’t help but fall in love with.
And today—Wednesday—I was scheduled to go up against him in court.
I had less than two hours before I’d be looking into those sky-blue eyes of his again, and it was going to be one hell of a test to hold myself together, professionally. I’d never had this problem before, but I’d never been in a situation like this, either. My case was prepared and ready to go, but I wasn’t. At least not yet.
“Knock, knock,” Brooke said, peeking around my open office door.
“Good morning.”
“Just checking to see how you’re doing, Joan of Arc. Ready to kick Buchanan’s ass?”
I smiled. “I’m certainly gonna give it my best shot.”
“I know you will. Good luck and I’ll see you after court.”
“Okay, Brooke. Thanks.”
She walked off and I leaned back in my chair, resting my head against it and closing my eyes. After a handful of deep breaths, I heard my cellphone buzz and picked it up off my desk to see who texted me. It was my lover.
Zac: Hey, you.
Me: Hey.
Zac: Wanted to tell you again that I’m crazy about you.
I started smiling like an idiot. Even though I was about to go up against this warrior in court, just hearing from him last minute like this helped to ease my nerves.
Me: You know I’m crazy about you too.
Zac: When can I see you again?
Me: Whenever you’re free to do so.
Zac: I’m craving you, Stevie. I need another taste of you. I need to be inside your beautiful body and watch you lose control. I wanna see you arch your back and hear you moan my name again. I just need YOU.
I dropped my head and sighed. The effect this man had on me was so powerful. The way that he was in bed with me was powerful too. Both times we had sex, he knew exactly what to do to me, as if we’d been together for years. He touched my body like I needed it to be touched and God, I loved touching his. Zac was so damn sexy and passionate and he had no inhibitions whatsoever about expressing himself in front of me. The fire within him had consumed me but didn’t burn me up. It just kept me longing for Zac.
Me: I’m gonna have to start wearing panties underneath my skirt if you make it a habit of texting me at work like this and talking about sex between us.
Zac: So you’re getting wet right now?
Me: Do you really even need to ask?
