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“The three of us went swimming together is what happened. We floated all around Stevie’s pool too, just relaxing, talking and enjoying what was left of the day. Later on, Malcolm crawled into her lap and fell sound asleep. While he was out, Stevie and I started talking about our pasts, then we started talking about everything we were feeling toward each other. One thing led to another and I kissed her while Malcolm was still asleep in her arms. I couldn’t stop myself. I crossed that line, Bash.”
“I don’t think you crossed a line. Stevie is divorced and you’re married only on paper. You and Avery have been living separate lives for the most part since before Malcolm was born. You sleep in separate bedrooms, there’s no sex whatsoever, Avery still treats you like shit and she’s currently in west Texas fucking that Justin guy. You and I both know it, so do me a favor and don’t waste another second of your life feeling any kind of guilt for what you have going on with Stevie. You of all people, Zac, deserve to have some happiness in your life.”
“I appreciate you saying that.”
“Well, it’s true. I don’t know how long your relationship with Stevie is gonna last because of both your circumstances, personally and professionally. You two could be forced to end it at any time but while it does last, soak up as much of that woman as you can.”
“I plan on it. You know what’s strange, though?” I asked, thinking back to last night.
“What?”
“I had a dream about Stevie and it felt so real. I married her, Bash. It was like a sped-up movie reel. I saw the engagement ring that I bought for her, my proposal, our wedding, our honeymoon, and then I saw the house that we lived in and Malcolm was there, running around and playing. Everything was like it’s supposed to be.”
“The white picket fence life.”
“Yeah, it was, and it was a happy one. I know my mind cranked out that dream because I want Stevie in my life and I want her full-time. Not like this. Not an affair. I want us to be out in the open. Hell, I wanna show Stevie off and let everybody know she’s mine and I’m hers. I’m not ever gonna be able to have her in that way though, because ofmycircumstances. Not hers. So I’m just gonna keep doing exactly what you said. I’m gonna soak up all of Stevie that I can and for as long as I can, and whenthat last day with her arrives, I hope it doesn’t shatter me. I think it’s going to though, because I’m already falling for her.”
Bash patted my shoulder. “I can tell. I’m happy for you and I hate it for you at the same time. Isn’t it something that we, as humans, willingly do certain things because they feel so fucking good to us and we do them knowing we’re more than likely gonna get hurt in the end?”
“Yeah, it is something. Self-torture, I suppose. But right now, what I have with Stevie is the sweetest torture that I’ve ever experienced and I’ll never regret making the decision to become involved with her.”
“I wish you’d met her years ago.”
I shrugged. “So do I, but then again, it wouldn’t have worked.”
“Why is that?”
“Because she was happily married years ago. Time wasn’t on our side then and it isn’t now.”
“No it isn’t, Zac, not right this second. But who knows? Life can turn on a dime and maybe that dream of yours will come true one day. I don’t wanna get your hopes up, but the more I listen to you talking about you and Stevie… Well, none of us know what life has in store for us until it happens. Anything is possible.”
“Anything but having Stevie. Until Malcolm is grown, my life’s path is set.”
Bash paused and studied my eyes. “I’m not so sure about that. I used to be, but not anymore. You believe what you want, though. For now, I want you to give me the juice on everything you’ve got going on with that beautiful mermaid. I know you’ve done more than kiss each other. You’ve had sex. Body language doesn’t lie, so go ahead and start talking.”
I had to laugh. “You’re right. Stevie and I have had sex. Twice.”
“When?”
“Last night in her pool and then this morning in her bed, after I cooked us breakfast.”
Bash jerked back his head. “This morning in her bed? Cooked breakfast?”
“Yes. I spent the night at Stevie’s house. My parents had Malcolm. I parked my car in Stevie’s garage. We’re trying to be as careful as we can be.”
“Dude!” Bash said, making me laugh again. “Oh my God! Wow. Okay. So now I need to know just one more thing.”
“Yes, Stevie rocked my world.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear you say. I hope you rocked hers too.”
“I damn sure did.”
19
#pokerface
Stevie
