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“Soon. Real soon.”
“Okay.”
He held my hand while I sat down and then bent over to tell Brooke goodbye across me.
“Have a good evening, Buchanan, and give that sweet little boy of yours a tight squeeze for me.”
“I’ll do that. Ladies, you two have a good evening, and maybe we’ll meet up here again sometime this week.”
“More than likely,” Brooke chuckled.
Before closing my door, Zac looked at me one more time and smiled, and then Brooke and I left Mystic Bar. On our way back to the D.A.’s office, she asked me about my case against Zac. She wanted to know if I was ready to face off against him.
“I’ve been ready.”
“I just wanted to check in with you about it again because of the friendship that I see blossoming between you and Zac.”
“Brooke, I’ve never had a problem drawing the line between the professional and personal parts of my life. Yes, Zac and I have become friends, but we both have our jobs to do. I haven’t talked to him about any of what you and I are discussing, but I do believe that his gloves are gonna come off in the courtroom the second that mine do. And that’s gonna happen as soon as I walk through the courtroom doors.”
“I just needed to hear you say that, Stevie.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got everything under complete control.”
Brooke reached over and patted my shoulder. “Good.”
As soon as she dropped me off at the D.A.’s office parking lot, I got into my car, but didn’t leave right away. I let Brooke leave first while acting like I was looking for something inside my purse and then I pulled up Zac’s contact info on my cellphone. I stared at his phone number while debating whether or not to touch the screen, then decided not to and clicked off my phone.
I wanted to call him to feel him out. I was wondering what he was doing for the rest of this evening but was certain he’d be taking care of Malcolm. If I’d known he wasn’t going to be doing that, then I would’ve followed through with calling him to invite him over to my house. Now that I’d decided to really move forward into having an affair with Zac, I was anxious to get a full taste of him, and that was something that I’d been hoping would happen tonight. I wanted to feel his lips and his body all over mine and could so easily imagine it, just like I could so easily imagine what it’d be like to feel him inside me.
It’d been years since I had sex, and it happened with Graham. He was the only man I’d ever been intimate with. We were both virgins when we met and then began dating in high school andremained such until the day we married. After that, we couldn’t get enough of fucking each other, and it was that way until right before I gave birth to our Malcolm.
I remembered how alive and vibrant sex used to make me feel. I felt like a real woman. No, I felt like a goddess and I was ready to feel that way again. But this time, I was going to be stepping into a different role. I wasn’t going to be a good Christian wife anymore. I was no longer like Eve. Now I was like Lilith, about to defy the patriarchy. I was about to become an adulteress, and strangely, I was relishing this sexual rebellion that I was holding in my hands.
17
#river
Stevie
THE SUN WASsetting when I decided to text Zac just to see what he was doing. Because it was close to 9:00 p.m., I was pretty certain that he had already tucked Malcolm into bed for the night.
Me: Hey, you.
Zac: Hey, you. What are you up to?
Me: I was about to ask you the same question. I’m sitting on my back patio, thinking about you, me—everything.
Zac: Having second thoughts again about being my lover?
Me: Not at all.
Zac: I’m relieved to know that.
Me: After Brooke dropped me off earlier, I started to call you.
Zac: About what?
Me: I wanted you to come over tonight but realized it was pointless to ask.
