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I reached across the table for Melissa’s hand. “I know it is, but you’re an amazing grandmother and mom-in-one. You’re also an amazing friend to me.”
“You’re an amazing friend to me too. We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?”
“Yes, we have. Life has definitely seasoned us.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
Our waiter walked up and asked if we wanted some more tea. We did, so he refilled our glasses and went to wait on his other customers. That was when Melissa asked me about Valentine’s Day. It was coming up soon.
“Do you have plans with Graham?” she asked.
“Yes. We’re going out to eat. I don’t know where yet and it really doesn’t matter to me. I just enjoy his company.”
“I always liked Graham, but I hated him after finding out about his affair with Emma. I’ve learned to like him again now. As long as he keeps treating you like he has been ever since you moved back, then I’ll keep liking him. If he fucks up again, then I’m gonna kill him.”
“And you wonder where your granddaughter gets her fire?” I chuckled.
“Oh, God, I know.”
“About Graham, though. Now that I’ve walked in his shoes concerning having an affair, I understand it. He and I had a long and positive talk about it, too. It was nice being able to lay all my cards on the table and let him see me for who I am today.”
“What did he say to you after you told him about Zac?”
“Well, I never told Graham his name, but I did tell him about our affair, plus what I learned from it.”
“What’d you learn?”
I smiled. “That I still care about and love Graham. I always will, too.”
“Okay, I just have to say it. You two have been spending quite a bit of time together and you keep telling me that you’re just friends. But really? There’s gotta be more going on.”
I sighed. “We’ve kissed.”
“I knew it! How many times?”
“Several.”
“What else have you done?”
“Well, we came really close to having sex not long after I moved back here. We’d just shared one hell of a kiss. As a matter of fact, it was our first kiss since we divorced. I took Graham’s t-shirt off and was reaching for the snap on his jeans when he stopped me. He knew it was too soon for me to be that intimate with him. It’d only been a month since I ended my affair with Zac, and Graham could tell how much I was still hurting about it. He also knew that my wanting to have sex with him was to escape my memory of Zac for a little while. He was so right about that, but I also wanted to be with Graham because I am still very much attracted to him.”
Melissa sat back in her chair and sighed. “First of all, wow about him being so insightful and understanding, and also for having that kind of restraint. Second of all—why are you just now telling me about all of this?”
“Because I’m judging myself again.”
“You and Graham are both single, Stevie.”
“I know. It’s just that I really feel guilty sometimes when I’m with him and he’s being so wonderful to me and while I’m looking at him, I’m imagining that he’s Zac. I don’t do it every time. There are days when I’m able to block out Zac and truly enjoy Graham for the good man that he is—and also the great kisser. And by the way, kissingisall that we’ve done since that night we almost had sex.”
“Still… I’ll bet Graham has the bluest pair of balls ever.”
I threw my napkin across the table at Melissa and we both busted out laughing.
“You’re awful!” I said.
“Yeah, but I’m honest. Granted, I’m brutally honest most of the time but you get me.”
“Yes, I do and I love you.”
