Page 186 of Ocean of Stars


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“Would you be up to going for a swim with me?”

“No, I wouldn’t. We can sit right here. You told me that you wanted to visit so talk.”

“Zac, I don’t even know where to begin other than to tell you that I’m so sorry for the hell that I’ve put you through all these years.”

I jerked my head back in surprise. “Where is all of this coming from?”

“I’ve been thinking about life and how short it is. I’ve lost out on so much with you and Malcolm.”

“Especially Malcolm.”

“I want nothing more than a fresh start with you and him. I want us to be a family.”

“That’s not gonna happen with me. It’s too late. It isn’t with Malcolm, though.”

Avery nodded and then choked out, “D-do you hate me?”

Her eyes were filled with tears now and it was going to be interesting to see how long they lasted this time.

“What I hate is all you’ve done that killed our marriage, but the thing that I hate even more than that is you didn’t want Malcolm. He’s an innocent child and he’s also the best kid.”

“I know—and you’re the best husband. I don’t deserve you, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you. I always have.”

“That’s a lie. You could not have possibly loved me all this time and treated me as you have.”

“I hated myself and took it out on you, Zac.”

“So you don’t hate yourself anymore?”

“I’ll put it to you this way: I’m learning to love myself and forgive myself for all the wrongs that I’ve done.”

“Sounds like you’ve been in counseling.”

“No counseling. Just lots of deep reflection.”

I sighed and then looked off from Avery at the pool. “I cannot trust anything that you tell me. You’ve played me so many times.”

“I know I have, but I’m not that person anymore. Please give me one last chance, Zac. Let me earn back your trustandyour love. You’ll see that I’m telling you the truth. That I’m for real this time.”

“No. The only thing that I’ll give you a chance to do is be a mother to Malcolm.”

“I want him and you both. I love you both.”

I looked back over at Avery. “Just tell me what happened in Lubbock. Something must have for you to have done this complete turnaround.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Something did for you to come home acting like this. The person you’re being now is the one that I fell in love with ten years ago. You’re being kind and attentive, you’ve been smiling and I’ve even heard you laughing a few times while playing with Malcolm. You’ve cooked some meals this week and cleaned the house and washed Malcolm’s laundry and mine.”

“I know, Zac. I know. I should’ve been doing that all along. You do so much for me.”

Avery covered her face with her hands and started crying hard. I looked up at the sky until I couldn’t listen to her any longer and got up from my chair.

“Where are you going?” Avery asked.

“Inside. I can’t do this with you. This is all a huge déjà vu for me and the feelings that it’s stirred up inside me are something that I don’t wanna feel because it feels bad. It’s toxic. You’re toxic, Avery, and I don’t believe one word that you just said to me.”

She hurried up from her chair and walked over to me. “I’ll do anything it takes to prove to you that I’m telling you the truth. I’ve changed, Zac. I promise.”

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