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He offered me what I’d always dreamed of: a way out of my life.
I just wish he’d gone through with it instead of dragging me through the mud like that. I wish he’d made it quick at least, instead of making it last and making it so much worse.
I wish he hadn’t fucked me thenfuckedme.
Ford Arc is a monster and always was.
I keep thinking about him twisting Sara Lynn’s wrist back and the manic grin on his face, the pure pleasure in his eyes.
He did that to me, only so much worse.
I’d rather let him break my wrist than take my virginity and break my heart.
Tina says, “I just want to be clear that this isnota hint or anything like that.” She gets up to refill our glasses. “But what are you going to do?”
“I really don’t think I have many options,” I admit and the feeling of being stuck weighs me down. “Right now, I plan on getting drunk again and sleeping for as long as possible.”
“But you can’t do that forever.” She frowns at me and I know she’s worried, but my brain’s not working well enough to plan much further out than a few hours. “What about the farm? And your family? Are they going to kick you out when they realize what happened?”
“I haven’t told them.”
Her eyebrows shoot straight up. “You haven’twhat?”
“Grandfather’s going to be happy when he hears it,” I say miserably as she hands me my glass. “He couldn’t have actually thought I was going to spy for him and this is even better. Now he’s going toreallyown me.”
“I’m sure he hoped you would, but—” She shrugs and sits cross-legged at the other end of the couch. “So, what, you’re going to go home? Let your grandfather boss you around?”
“I don’t have any other options.”
“Honey,” she says softly, “you’rerich. You have all the options in the world.”
“Except I’m not. Grandfather controls my trust for another few years and now that Mom’s missing again, he’s never going to relinquish his rights when the time comes. He’s going to bog me down in proceedings until I’m forced to walk away. I’m stuck, Tina.”
“There has to be some legal thing you can do.” She gets her faraway expression, the one she has when she’s doing lawyer-stuff in her head. “I could ask around if you want.”
“That’s okay. Really, you’ve done more than enough just letting me be a pathetic blob for the last few days.”
“Hon, you want to be a blob, go ahead and be a blob. You have all the time you want if that’s what you need. I’m just worried, is all.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse, right?”
She smiles and shakes her head sadly but she doesn’t agree.
I sit back and sip my drink. I try not to think about Ford and his hands on my skin and his mouth against my neck. Could he really have faked all that? Was any of it real? That man must be the most amazing actor in the world because I caught him at least a dozen times giving me looks when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, these longing, lust-filled looks. He’s either a master manipulator, or some part of what we had was real. Andeven if that’s the case, wanting to fuck me is one thing, but clearly that wasn’t enough.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel lost and like I have nowhere to turn. I don’t want to go home back to Grandfather, but Ford was my only shot at getting away. Without him, I’m screwed, and sooner or later I’ll have to swallow my pride and give Grandfather what he’s been wanting from the start.
Complete control over my life.
My phone begins to ring. I frown at it and don’t feel like getting up to answer. But Tina nudges me and I sigh, stand, and walk to where it’s buzzing on the kitchen counter.
I don’t recognize the number. Most people would ignore a call like this, but it sets my stomach tingling.
Most of the time it’s a telemarketer robot calling to check on my vehicle’s extended warranty, but sometimes when Mom’s on a bender and she’s been missing for a while…
I answer and nearly scream when it’s her voice. “Hi, honey,” Mom croaks. “I bet you’re really mad right now.”
