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“We’re building generational wealth, boy.” He glares at me. “You’ve been fucking spoiled, but I remember what it was like for our family when we had nothing. I killed to get where I am today. I’ve been ruthless, boy. I’ve murdered and fought and bloodied myself again and again but here I am, old and still on top, and you know why? It’s because I’ve given up on weaknesses, like charity. Fuckingcharity. Whoever gavemea damn thing? Nobody, that’s who.”
“It doesn’t have to be charity, but wouldn’t you rather be productive?”
“To hell with being productive. I’ve been productive my whole life. Now it’s time to be petty.” He shakes his head and glances at me. “Why are you here, Ford? I told you everything you needed to know over the phone already. Are you here to whine?”
I open my mouth to say,I came to give you something on the Stockton family. I came here to hurt Kat.But instead, my jaw snaps shut and rage flows up from my center. “I’m not here to whine.”
“You say that just like your father.” He pushes himself from his chair with a grunt and walks over to the side table to get himself another drink. “Your father was a disappointment to me too.”
I go very still. Grandpop never talks about my father, or at least he hasn’t in a very long time. Their relationship was complicated and my father’s death was a real blow to him, but Grandpop never talks about it. I used to think it hurt Grandpop too much,but now I wonder if he doesn’t talk about my old man because he doesn’t give a damn that his own son is gone.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I say and can’t keep the coldness from my tone.
Grandpop doesn’t seem to notice. He holds up his drink and looks at me over the rim. “Here’s what you and your father both failed to understand. Strength is all that matters. Winning is the only thing people care about. You think the world gives a shit about who you are and what you want? The world only gives a shit if you’re winning. If you’re taking and destroying anything in your way. You can be the nicest person in the world and still nobody will care if you don’twin.”
“Is that what you do?” I ask, head tilted. “You win?”
“I gave you everything and don’t you forget it. What have you done for this family, Ford, except fail at the most important task I’ve ever given you.”
I could do it now. Stand up and tell him what I came here to tell him.
Except something stops me.
It’s this room. This empty, sad room. It’s Grandpop sitting in front of the fire staring into the flames. It’s Grandpop talking about winning, about strength, about spending his retirement years, his final years, on petty revenge. On a meaningless feud that doesn’t matter and never did.
This is my future.
I can see it so clearly it gives me a headache. I can see myself shedding any humanity I have left and turning into a man just like this. Rich, powerful, connected, deep in the next level of thegame, and utterly empty. His family hates him. His own children avoid him as much as they can. He spends his time terrorizing his grandchildren and treating the people closest to him like employees.
He caned me. He scarred me. He brutalized me and taught me to care only about myself, but only so long as I obeyed him.
He’s a small, petty tyrant, and he’s going to die alone.
I stand and face him.
“I don’t have anything for you, Grandpop. I think you should forget about your so-called revenge and try to enjoy the years you have left.”
“I’m sure you do. Pathetic.” He shakes his head. “What a sad disappointment you are, Ford. Although your cousin Riley will be ecstatic when I tell him that he’s now the top contender.”
“You can go ahead and do that. If Riley wants the job, it’s all his.” I take a step forward and stare into Grandpop’s eyes. “But I think Riley would be happier and better off if he stays far, far away from anything you built.”
“You’re singing a new song, Ford,” Grandpop says loudly as I turn and walk away. “But all I hear is the same old tune. It’s sad really, you had so much promise!”
I leave the living room. I walk slowly through the halls.
This place makes me feel nothing but miserable.
It’s empty. It’s all for show. There’s no substance anywhere, and if I finally stomp out what’s left of my soul to take it over, I’ll find nothing at the heart. I’ll stand on top but what’s the point of ruling over a graveyard? There are only bones in this house.
I see Grandpop clearly for the first time in my life and he’s a skeleton king.
It disgusts me how close I came.
Power without heart and purpose is meaningless.
I get into the car and head home. Kat’s in bed half-asleep already. I don’t wake her up. I crawl under the covers and lie close to her and listen to her breathe and breathe in her smell and think about what I’ve given up, what I’ve lost, and what I stand to gain.
Chapter 22
