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I grabbed a tissue and began dabbing under my eye when the door cracked open, and Alex slipped in, shutting the door behind him.
He turned and flinched in surprise. “Brooke,” he began, his next words coming out at warp speed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anyone—” He turned back around, facing the door again but stopped with his hand resting on the knob. “Are you okay? You look upset.”
Fuck. Of course you’d see me looking like this.
I wiped away the mascara. “I’m fine. Just freshening up.” I waited, hoping I’d sounded convincing.
After a beat, he said, “Really? Because I came in here to hide, so no judgment.”
I laughed despite myself. “I’d say you were doing pretty well out there. Not that I was watching.”Real convincing, Brooke.
Alex slowly turned around. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar, making my breath catch. How could he still have this effect on me? It was pathetic.Iwas pathetic.
“I’ll get out of your way.” I moved towards the door, but he didn’t shift, leaving mere inches between us. “Alex,” I said, keeping my eyes glued on the blocked doorknob.
“Brooke.” The tone of his voice was more question than statement—a silent request for me to look at him. I knew it was trouble, but I also knew if I didn’t look at him, there would be no getting out of there, and I’d come off like a coward.
And I was no fucking coward.
I clenched my jaw and met his gaze.One, two, three...
“I wanted to say sorry. Leah mentioning Mariah—that had to be—”
“Stop,” I said sharply. “I don’t want to—”
“But I need to tell you—”
“Tell me what? How easy this all is for you? Because it’s not easy for me. It’s hard.”
I had a choice. I could’ve left it at that and gotten the hell out of there, but it was as if the floodgates had opened, and I was powerless to close them again.
“Hard for me, anyway. I guess after eight years you’re over it—over our past—but I’m having a little bit of difficulty being okay with the fact that I’m suddenly face-to-face with the man I was going to—”
I stopped myself, backing up to the sink and spinning around to face the mirror again. I couldn’t bear to look at him, and no good could come with the end of that sentence.
“It’s hard for me, too,” he said after what felt like an eternity of silence.
“Could have fooled me.” I didn’t bother cloaking the sarcasm in my tone, despite the relief rushing through me. Hedidfeel something. Sabrina had been right.
Alex sighed. “From the moment I got here, all eyes have been on me. There are seventy-five people down the hall wanting to talk to me. I came in here to hide—to catch my breath for a minute. I don’t have time to be rattled.”
My relief transformed into irritation. “I get it. I’ll just leave you to your hiding, then.” I bounded for the door, butagainhe didn’t move. “Alex, what the fuck?”
“Just wait, okay?”
“For what?” I snapped, my gaze now searing into him. “So we can take another trip down memory lane? Tell another carnival story? Why did you tell that story anyway? Is it just a go-to for you, where you come off like a hero? Do you even remember the rest of that night?”
The muscle in his jaw twitched and, when he finally spoke, his voice came out dangerously low. “That was the night we made love for the first time.”
Every nerve ending in my body fired, sending a jolt of electricity through me. “I—I figured you forgot.”
He winced, but it was almost imperceptible. “You really think I’d forget something like that?”
My gaze slipped from his eyes, trailing to his mouth, full lips so close I could kiss them with the slightest lean.Oh, god, why am I thinking about kissing him?
I’d spent all night waiting for some display of emotion, some sign of what Alex did or did not remember, and here, now, he looked haunted.
“Brooke, I—”
