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I moved to the toilet, lowered the lid, and sat down. Fumbling for my phone stashed in my pants pocket, I called Sabrina. This was DEFCON 5—or whatever the bad one was—and the only way I would calm down was with the help of my best friend.
“How’s it going with the fam?” Sabrina chimed upon answering the call.
I took a deep breath, noticing the music in her background as I let it out slowly. “Leah’s fiancé... It’s Alex.MyAlex.”
“What?” Sabrina said over the music. “Alex is there?”
“Alex is here, and he’s going to marry my boyfriend’s sister.”
The words felt like sand coming out of my mouth.
“Hang on,” Sabrina said, and after a little rustling and what sounded like a door closing, the music stopped. “Are you okay?”
“I’m hiding in the bathroom, so I’m going to say no.”
She chuckled, but I could hear the sympathy in it. “I can’t imagine how this must feel. What did he say? How has it been between you? Does everyone know that—”
“We agreed to hold off on explaining our connection. I didn’t want to do anything to make things awkward, and does she really have to know?” I asked, referring to Leah.
But I knew the answer to my question. Of course, Leah needed to know. I thought about how hurt I was that Alex had kept the truth about him and Mariah from me and would never want to put someone else through that.
“Forget I said that. He needs to tell Leah, and I need to tell Liam.”
“That’s for the best,” Sabrina said. After a beat, she added, “Now answer my other question. How is it between you?”
I ran a hand through my hair, and my eyes began to sting with the threat of tears. “I have no idea. We’ve been pleasant enough and keeping up appearances, but I look at Alex, and it’s like I’m right back there. All the love and, worse, all the pain came rushing back.”
Sabrina sighed. “And now you’re hiding in the bathroom.”
I loved my best friend. Instead of trying to talk me out of my feelings, downplay them, or even have an opinion, she was just there for me, listening sympathetically.
“Anything good in the medicine cabinet?” she asked. “Rich people usually havegoodmedicine cabinets.”
I laughed as a single tear escaped. I knew Sabrina could cheer me up. “It’s a powder room. There’s just a mirror and no medicine cabinet.”
“Damn,” she said exaggeratedly. “Guess you’ll have to try a different bathroom.”
I sniffled and laughed again. “I guess so.”
“Look,” she said, seriously this time. “This is a complicated situation. You had zero closure back then, and no one would fault you for wanting it now.”
“I don’t know if I want it. I don’t know if I can even get it. If he’s feeling at all unsettled, I can’t tell. He seems totally fine, and I just wish I knew what was going on in his head.”
Sabrina blew out a breath. “I’m sure he feels something. He’s a guy. Guys are good at hiding their emotions, and Alex could always keep his cool.”
“Except the day he—”
“Except that day,” Sabrina cut me off. And thank God she did, because I don’t think I could actually say the words out loud.
“I get not wanting to ruin the party,” she continued. “Get through tonight and talk to him tomorrow. You two will have to clear the air at some point, and it’s better to do it now than closer to the wedding.”
“You’re right,” I said, but still, I felt the pit in my stomach return. “In the meantime, go see your hot man, drink some champagne, and stop wondering what’s going on in Alex Sawyer’s head.”
I nodded and rose. “Okay. Thanks, S.”
“Anytime, B.”
I hung up the phone and moved back to the mirror to fix myself up. My cheeks were red, and the lone tear that had escaped had taken some of my mascara along for the ride.
