Page 36 of The Mix-Up


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“Too bad you couldn’t stay for dessert,” he said and softened the reminder with a smile.

I was going to say some other time, but the words wouldn’t push through my lips. Would there be another time? I would quit in less than two days and then I’d be back to my invisible self.

“What’s your address?” asked Colton when we climbed into his car. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I would give myself away by telling him my address, but realized if he didn’t remember what was on Ava’s resume, I doubted he recalled where she lived. So, I gave it to him and we set off.

Sitting in Colton’s car, away from Ryan’s perceptive stare, my shoulders relaxed and my adrenaline subsided. I finally took a deep breath without it feeling like my ribs would break. Colton hadn’t said a word since we left his place, and neither did I until I pointed to my house. “It’s that one over there, with the red bricks,” I said.

He pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. I turned to face him, wanting to apologize for ending the night abruptly.

“I’m so sorry about tonight,” he said, surprising me.

“Don’t apologize,” I told him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

It’s mine for lying in the first place.

“Ryan has no excuse but perhaps I could offer an explanation,” he began, but I raised my hand to cut him off.

“You don’t have to explain,” I said, guilt replacing fear. Colton didn’t need to explain anything to me.

But he persisted. “Please, I want you to know that it’s nothing personal toward you. When we lost our parents, we took it upon ourselves to protect each other. I made sure our physical needs were met, a roof over our heads, and food on the table. Ryan would talk us out of any trouble we got ourselves into and Luke, well, Luke could charm almost anyone to do his bidding. Don’t get me wrong, I’m mad as hell at Ryan right now and I’ll tell him so, but I understand why he did it.”

“I get it. I really do,” I explained. Then, closing my eyes, I admitted something to Colton I had never even acknowledged to myself. “I don’t like confrontation. It terrifies me, actually. I prefer people don’t see me at all rather than have to defend myself.” My hands trembled as I spoke, but I clasped them between my thighs. It was difficult to express in words one of my greatest fears aloud. I hadn’t expected to say it, and I didn’t feel any better acknowledging it right now. I felt embarrassed.

My chest tightened and I worried I would have a panic attack in the car in front of Colton. He must have realized something was going on with me because the next moment Colton unbuckled my seat belt and pulled me into his arms. I clutched his shoulder and valiantly held back tears, but not a quick intake of air. The breath pierced my stiff lungs and I trembled in his embrace.

“Hey,” he crooned, rubbing my back. “You shouldn’t have to defend yourself, especially not to my family.”

He held me tighter, then added, “And you handled yourself pretty great back there with my brother. Confrontation isn’t about arguing or yelling, it’s about holding your own. Sometimes walking away is the best way to defend yourself from a bad situation.”

He had no idea how much his words meant to me. Walking away tonight was one of the hardest things I’d done in six years. Back then, I’d left to preserve myself. Tonight’s motivation was less honorable. I owed Colton so much, but most of all, I owed him the truth.

“Colton—”

He pressed his lips against mine, stopping my words. Gently, he kissed my mouth, coaxing his tongue inside. I mewled from the pleasure of it.

“I love you,” he whispered.

The words broke my heart and shattered it into tiny pieces. I loved him too, but before I could say those words, I had to tell him so much more. All of it, and prayed that he would understand. If he had truly fallen in love with me, he would understand, wouldn’t he?

“Colton—” I said again. His lips moved to my jaw and he inhaled. I closed my eyes and hoped I wasn’t about to make a mistake.

Then I saw him. Marco stood in front of the car with his arms crossed over his chest. It was freezing outside, and yet he wore only a sweater with his sleeves pushed up. Standing under six feet tall, Marco’s large arms were more intimidating than his height. I’d never seen my brother look so menacing. I’d be impressed if I wasn’t about to perish from fear. This isn’t how I wanted Colton to find out the truth about me. Not from Marco’s lips. I imagined jumping out of the car and dragging Marco to the front door to get him away from here.

“I’ve got to go,” I said, opening the car door. But Colton stepped out as well.

“I’ll walk you to your door,” he said.

Why did he have to be chivalrous at this moment?

“No, it’s fine,” I said, getting out of the car and running straight for Marco. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Dammit, why did I say that?

Still staring at Colton, Marco asked, “Is this guy your boss?”

I tried to push Marco toward the front door, but he didn’t budge.

“Her boyfriend,” said Colton.

Can a heart soar and break at the same time? Mine did.

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