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Flustered and annoyed, I pull my phone out of my pocket just for a distraction, but I have a text from Andries waiting for me.
Andries:You’re the man! That party was absolutely fantastic! Yao was delighted, and she said she never had such a good time in her life. We need your help with the wedding too. Get your event designer and your team because we want something just as epic at Oma’s estate.
I can’t even enjoy the thanks fully. My best friend wouldn’t be thanking me like this if he knew what Elise and I had been doing right under his nose. I’ve already broken the oath I made to him by touching his sister in the first place, but at this point, it hasn’t gone far enough that there is no turning back. Still, there’s no way I can tell him about yesterday and forever taint the memory of his engagement party.
Trying to push guilt to the side for a second, I respond,Good to know! Sure, we can schedule a meeting at Margaret’s estate to check the place and get some inspiration.
Andries:Good idea! Next Saturday at 11 AM work for you?
Absolutely, I text back, pocketing my phone with a sigh after setting the appointment in my calendar.
Housekeeping comes to clear everything from breakfast, refilling my mug, and I decide to savor the time alone with my thoughts. Last night when I was finally alone, my mind was still muddled from alcohol and lust, and my thoughts were anything but clear. I flip through all my socials, liking the pictures I got tagged in from the evening, and, for some reason, decide to go back to my inbox to check something else. The pictures of the gala are there marked as “important,” and I can’t help but click on the email, and pursue all the pictures again.
The photographer did a really good job. I just can’t get enough of seeing Elise and me dancing. Her eyelids are lowered, her face softens as she leans toward me, and I seem to almost be welcoming her. Our bodies move so naturally together, so effortlessly, that I can’t help but wonder if everything could be so seamless between us. If I really want to, I can find out on her eighteenth birthday. I’m almost positive that Elise wants me, and that’s the reason for her insistence on my attendance. It would be all too easy; no Andries, plenty of empty rooms and little alcoves to hide away in, and no rush. We could take our time, really get to know each other… but I can’t. Anger flares through me. It just isn’t fair that I can’t even have a chance to see what Elise and I could be. I’m a grown man, and by all accounts, I’ve been a good friend and confidant to Andries. I shouldn’t have to choose between him and his sister. If I could have both, we may even get the chance to be a family, but Andries is too fucking stubborn.
Interrupting my daydreams, one of the maids comes over, giving me a little wave to get my attention. I snap back to reality, shaking myself out of all my useless thoughts. “Yes?”
“There’s a woman waiting in the foyer for you, sir. I didn’t catch her name, I apologize.”
I hop up, hurrying past the maid and toward the home. What if it’s Elise? How will I handle her after everything?
To my surprise—and disappointment—standing in the marble and white stone foyer is Jessica, her dark hair loose and wearing a matching violet crop top and yoga pants, one of my favorite looks on her. By the smile she gives me as I approach, the outfit choice, along with her presence altogether, was carefully planned to catch me off guard.
“How did you get my address?” I ask before she can say anything, annoyed that she would go out of her way to track down where my parents live.
“Don’t look so pissed, Dan. A friend of mine was one of your waiters last night, and she gave it to me when I asked where she was going for the night. It’s nothing nefarious.”
“If you knew about the party last night, why not come then instead of this morning?”
She wraps her arms around herself, looking above her at the chandelier hanging above and the prismatic rainbows it casts on the walls. “I wasn’t invited, so I didn’t think it was appropriate to attend.”
For the thousandth time today, the image of Elise under my hands in the study pops up again, and I’m infinitely glad Jessica had the social awareness to not show up at the engagement party. “Well, thanks for respecting that, at least. But why are you here now?”
“I…” She hesitates, and I notice there is something about this girl I thought I knew so well. There isn’t any attitude in the way she’s holding herself, no animosity. For weeks Jessica hasbeen getting more and more frustrated with the time I’ve been spending with Elise, but apparently, she’s put it aside for the time being. “I miss you, alright?” She pulls her eyes from the chandelier and looks me dead in the eyes. “Telling you over text isn’t a cool move, and I wanted to say it to your face. Things aren’t the same without you, Dan. I messed up, and I’m ready to admit it.”
“So you acknowledge it’s your fault, then? Because you wanted to leave me out of jealousy since I was spending time with Elise.”
“Yeah, well… how could I not be a little jealous? She’s beautiful, wealthy, and part of a family you’re basically a part of. Elise seems like your perfect match, and then you leaving me alone all the time to cater to her really rubbed me the wrong way.” She pauses, catching her breath back. “I can’t lie and say I’m okay with the way you did that to me over and over, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that you care about her like you would a friend or sibling. So…I’d like to give this another shot if you’ll have me.”
She’s hard to resist, all tan skin and willing eyes, but one thing she has said rings false. I don’t like Elise like a sibling, or even a friend. I want her as a lover, and that’s the lens I’ll view her through the rest of my life I think. Looking at Jessica, and how her emotions are at play here, not just her physical wants and needs, I know that I can’t keep leading her on. If there is anyone I only care about as a friend, it’s Jessica. I take a deep breath, barely believing what I’m about to say. One single word and she’d be upstairs in bed with me, but I’m about to blow that all out of the water.
“I appreciate the apology, Jess, but I’ve moved on.” She looks heartbroken at this news, but I push on. “You should too, okay? Find someone that will make you truly happy. You deserve it.”
Jess purses her lips, looking away so I can’t see the mist of tears in her eyes. It hurts my heart, because this woman has given me so much, and all I’m doing right now is telling her it was all for nothing. But what choice do I have?
In a world that Elise exists in, Jessica will never mean all that much to me. My perfect match is elsewhere.
Finally, she nods, her whole posture heavy with it. “I-I understand…” She walks to the door, and I take a last chance to look at her butt in the yoga pants as she does so. What a waste… I could be peeling them off her right now.
“Take care of yourself, Dan,” she says, hand on the door handle.
“You too, Jess. You too.”
17
Amsterdam, May 23, 2022
Elise
