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“Okay. I just don’t want to make things more awkward for you.”
“Trust me, Jess, it would be weirder if I was going alone.” I reach over and lay a hand on her leg between shifting gears. “You’re my security for tonight.”
She giggles and relaxes. I’m not lying to her, either. Jessica won’t be protecting me from any real danger, but having her there will be a balm on my heart in the face of the saccharine sweet love between my best friend and his future wife. At least I will know I’m not going home alone or sleeping in an empty bed, even if the woman with me is just an enchanting placeholder.
Roxanne’s restaurant of choice is a bit out of town in Amstelveen, and by the time we arrive, I’m starving. Aan de Poel on the lakeshore is breathtaking at sunset, and I hear Jessica gasp quietly when she steps out of the car to see the orange and red sky reflecting off the water.
I take her hand, interlacing our fingers as we walk inside and out onto the patio. It’s no surprise Andries has booked the best table in the place; a long rectangular table for ten, giving us plenty of room to stretch out and not be crowded by one another, is placed right along the edge of the patio. Beyond our table, the land sweeps gently downward and into the water, giving us an unobstructed view.
Everyone else has already arrived, but it seems they’re all just settling in themselves, and I’m relieved we aren’t obnoxiously late. Andries rises, shaking my hand and pulling me into a hug, and then I move to Roxanne, kissing both of her cheeks and telling her happy birthday.
There’s an obvious difference in Roxie; a peace that she hadn’t carried before, like all the pieces of her life have finally settled into place. She introduces Jessica and me to the other guests at the table—Lili, her sister, and Lili’s boyfriend, Robin, Yao, her mother, and a younger woman with shockingly red hair named Poppy, who she tells me is her personal assistant.
Jessica gets hung up on Roxanne, taking both of her hands. “Congratulations on your engagement!” she says, beaming. “How exciting! It’s such a whirlwind romance.”
I catch Yao and Lili looking at each other in amused agreement with Jessica's statement. Roxie smiles kindly at my date. “Thank you, Jessica, and thanks for coming to my birthday dinner.”
It’s then Jessica gets a glimpse at the ring on Roxanne’s hand, pulling said hand up to get a closer look at the gemstone. “What a wonderful ring, oh my goodness, have you seen it, Dan?”
“I have, yes. But don’t go getting ideas,” I laugh stiffly, not enjoying the change of topic, but Jessica just rolls her eyes, and after a little more small talk, everyone sits down. I sneak a glimpse at Roxanne’s ring… it truly is stunning, and it makes me wonder what ring my future potential bride might like.
An image of a rose-gold circlet with a single glittering diamond pops into my mind, placed delicately on the ring finger of someone with nude polished nails. I follow the wrist up the mystery woman’s arm in my daydream, but when the face of a certain Van den Bosch daughter begins to take shape, I shake my head to dispel the thought.
“Are you okay?” Jessica whispers at my side.
“Yeah, just a bug,” I lie.
When Andries had described Roxanne’s family to me, I had trouble imagining where he would fit into the equation. The wealthy, aloof poet didn’t seem like the type to integrate into a family like Roxanne's, but it was clear that I had been mistaken. Andries’s love and adoration of Roxanne easily garnered him the approval of the Feng family, and it’s wonderful to see. With his own family turning their noses up at the whole ordeal, I feel better knowing that at least one side of their union will be peaceful and joyous. Yao and Lili talk to him like they’ve known him forever, and seeing it makes me incredibly happy for my friend.
But them being on the edge of that happiness is exactly what I’d feared accepting this invitation. I’m extraordinarily jealous of them. It isn’t Andries and Roxanne’s obviously passionate love for each other, but the way they’ve overcome such obstacles just to be in each other’s lives. Being with each other was simply important enough that they were both willing to uproot their lives for a chance at happiness.
I feel that chasm of loneliness opening up inside me, and I reach under the table to Jessica, running my hand up and down her leg just to have a stitch of human connection. Her expression is warm and welcoming, and it helps a little. Not enough to make it go away, but enough that I can breathe again.
Conversation flows as naturally and abundantly as the wine, and by the time the food arrives, we are all relaxed and glowing from the alcohol. Jessica has her glass of champagne, and while I’m craving something a little heavier, I happily share the bottle with her. Something makes me feel like doting on my hookup tonight, and I indulge that desire.
The Feng sisters are both similar and completely different, Lili the more controlled, less fiery version of Roxanne, but Idon’t doubt that she is the epitome of still waters running deep. Yao is quieter still, but when her daughters get her going, she becomes just as lively as anyone else at the table. Lili’s boyfriend, like Andries, struggles to get a word in edgewise with the Feng women. That part of the relationship is one that I don’t envy.
Poppy is winding down a story about her first day working with Roxie and how intimidated she was when Roxie herself taps her fork on her glass to get all of our attention. We quiet, turning our attention to her as she rises from her seat.
“Now that we’ve all had some fun, I have an announcement to make! You all already know that Andries and I are engaged,” she says, showing her ring causing the table to laugh, “so rest assured I won’t be bothering you with that.” The table falls silent, holding their breath with anticipation. “But I have something else, work-wise to announce; since I’ve turned the page as an agency owner, I’ve been working on a memoir, and just yesterday I signed with a literary agent.”
Lili and Yao are thrilled, hugging Roxanne, and patting her cheeks, and Andries’s content grin lets me know that he is already privy to everything Roxanne’s revealing. I wait until the congratulations have died down and for Roxanne to be seated again to speak.
“A memoir, huh? Any certain focus?” I ask, my interest piqued.
“My time in the sex industry,” she says without thinking twice. “Starting from when I was an escort to my life as an agency owner.” Roxanne sighs, stirring her drink with her straw as she speaks. “I’ve met so many people along the way that I’ll never forget and are worth mentioning. Girls that just needed to feed their families, others that were trying to escape abusive households, and everything else in between. It will portray a raw reality of what life is like for those who go down that path.”
I raise my eyebrows. “That’s quite the undertaking.”
She nods. “It is, but it’s time somebody shines the light on what escorting in Amsterdam is really like. The good and the bad of it.”
I look to my friend, who I know doesn’t love the subject of Roxanne’s days as an escort, but to my surprise, he looks proud of her.
“Have you been using the services of our resident poet and writer extraordinaire, Andries?” I tease, causing him to scowl.
Roxie grins. “No, but he introduced me to an agent that he discovered through his author friend, Paul. Apparently, this book will be the first of its kind and there are already a few publishing houses interested in the project.”
I feel a small thrill of nerves run through me at that statement, a picture forming in my mind of what that could mean. “Wow, that’s an incredible achievement for sure. Good for you.”
