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“No, no it’s not pity!” I exclaim, quite surprised she’d even think of it in the first place. “It’s genuine concern. We just want you to be well. I can’t begin to imagine the trauma you’ve been put through.”
Patricia frowns. “You know, I’m not even sad about the sex stuff. It’s more that I had such a good opportunity with Roxanne’s agency, and I screwed it up. She has such a good reputation for taking care of her girls and if I had just listened, I could’ve done other gigs. And after a few of those, I could have my own place, be out of this stupid dorm… it’s just so much money.”
I try to keep the shock from boiling over into my expression, but I can’t. By the time she’s done talking, I have to remind myself to close my mouth, since I’m so taken aback.
“You can’t possibly mean that you would want to have sex for money again? After you were sexually assaulted?”
She sighs, her gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before she looks at me again. “It’s so much more than that. I got tipsy, and I was all over him. Should he have been more conscious of my state of inebriation? Yes, sure. But in the moment I wanted it, and when we started having sex, I never tried to stop him. Had I been sober and given the opportunity to continue working with him through Roxanne, I’d have accepted it.”
I lean forward, in disbelief at what she’s saying. “This has to be some sort of trauma response. Can’t you hear how crazy what you’re saying sounds? This man took advantage of you, made sure you were tipsy enough, and then used you! I know you signed some paperwork, but you should really go to the police, Patricia. Ask them to keep your name anonymous and just make the report—”
“But I don’t want to do that,” she interposes, shaking her head. “It could ruin Robert’s life, and cause trouble for Roxanne too, and she was only trying to protect me.”
“If she was trying to protect you, she wouldn’t have put you in that position in the first place,” I point out, frowning.
“I think you’ve got this so mixed up because of how drastically Elise blew things out of proportion. There were definitely things wrong with what happened to me, yeah, but everyone keeps telling me I’ve been raped, and I just don’t feel that way. Shouldn’t I be the one that gets to decide how I feel about the whole thing?”
“Yes, but you’re blinded by—”
We’re both interrupted when Patricia’s phone begins to ring. I can see that she's considering ignoring it, but at the last second, holds the screen up to show me who is calling.
It’s Roxanne.
“Put it on speaker,” I tell her as I bring my chair closer to her bed. “I won’t make a sound.”
Even though Patricia looks incredibly unhappy to do so, she answers the call on speaker, sitting back down on her bed.
“Hi, Roxanne.”
“Patricia. I’m glad you picked up. How are you feeling?”
She laughs sadly. “Everyone seems to be asking me that constantly these days. I don’t have cancer. I just slept with someone.”
Roxanne exhales. “I don’t mean to talk down to you like you’re a little kid. I’m just worried. But I’m calling because, um, Robert came in yesterday with his attorney and they had some very interesting things to say.”
Patricia sits up a little straighter. “Oh?”
“They want to offer you a settlement. It’s… a hundred thousand euros. He said to split it between the two of us, but I can’t help feel like I didn’t prepare you well enough and that Ishould’ve been the one to personally drop you off and take you home. If I had been more involved, none of this would have happened.”
“A hundred thousand euros!?” Patricia audibly gasps. “That’s… that’s an incredible amount of money. I can’t take it all, though. You deserve—”
“We can talk about that later,” Roxanne interrupts. “I also wanted to tell you that if you want to sue Robert or report him to the police that I’m behind you every step of the way. I’ll front the lawyer fees and even get you set up with my own personal attorney. I want you to have every option at your disposal, should you so choose.”
“But taking the settlement would mean less trouble for your agency too, right? If I accepted the proposal, could I still take gigs with you?” Patricia sounds hopeful, but Roxanne lets her down gently.
“I’m afraid not. I have very clear rules in place about drinking, and you were very quick to discard them. Plus, with that much money, I don't think you’d need to escort anyway.” She tries to keep her tone light toward the end, but even I can see the disappointment on Patricia’s face.
It just doesn’t make sense why she’d be upset! There are so many different jobs she can take instead. They might not pay the outrageous amounts that Roxanne pays, but at least she won’t be selling her body and her self-worth.
“I guess I need time to think,” Patricia says finally. “Will you really support me if I were to report him?”
“Yes, dear,” Roxanne’s tone is kind and emphatic—and it comes as a surprise even to me. “It’s something that you went through, and only you can decide how you want to handle it. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay, thank you for calling.” Patricia hangs up the phone and stares at it for a few long seconds.
This situation was complicated from the jump, but I certainly hadn’t come to Patricia’s dorm today expecting to feel a newly blossoming respect for Roxanne of all people. She had just paved the way for Patricia to press charges if she wanted, and she didn’t try to lead her in one way or another. Roxanne would support her, even at a price to herself.
Fuck. I've judged her too harshly, it seems. When we were face to face, emotions ran so high that it’s no surprise we ended up arguing. I wish I had all the information laid out clearly before. Then maybe the conversion would have played out differently.
