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I sit forward, pulse racing. “I need to know in detail, Patricia.”
“He said I should keep it between me and him, that it’s something that needs to be kept under wraps.”
“There is nothing ‘between you and a client’ that goes on here. This is my agency, and anything that happens, good or bad, has to go through me first.”
She looks like she wants to cry, but I’m a little proud of the eighteen-year-old when she tips her chin up bravely and fully admits to her mistakes. “We were drinking champagne, and I’ve only drank like one other time in my life. I got tipsy and…and…” She sniffles. “I went up to his apartment with him and we…” she swallows before her gaze drops to her lap. “We ended up having sex, and I spent the night there, since I passed out.”
The silence in the room is deafening, pressing on my eardrums like water in a deep pool.
Patricia’s eyes are red-ringed from crying, and how close she is to tears right now, where I can feel the blood draining from my face at her words.
I want to kill Karl with my bare hands. He had done everything he had promised me he wouldn’t, and then had the audacity to leave me a voicemail about what a lovely night he had. Probably while she was still passed out in his bed! I’ll never trust him as a client, or as a man, never ever again! This was his plan since the beginning—find a naive young woman, get her drunk to get rid of her inhibitions and then take full advantage of her.
I can’t let Patricia sit here without saying anything, but my emotions are out of control. Nothing at this job has ever made me as angry as I’m right in this moment. Just like Andries said, Karl had just wanted to take the virginity of a girl that was barely legal. My stomach rolls and I have to force acid back down my throat.
I let this happen. I was supposed to keep her safe and I let this happen.
Just looking at her sitting across from me, her hands folded and held between her legs while she watches me with big, wet eyes, makes me want to scream. Nothing like this has ever happened at my agency, and hopefully the non-disclosure agreements both parties signed will keep my professional reputation safe, but it doesn’t change the fact that I will know what happened forever.
“I told you not to drink if you can’t handle alcohol, and I told you specifically not to drink more than a glass. You blatantly disregarded my directions…” I return to rubbing my temples, the headache building threatening to incapacitate me with its severity. “But regardless this is all on Robert. He took advantage of you and I’m going to handle thisright now.”
I grab my office phone and begin to type in his number when Patricia seems to snap out of her trance and surges forward, pushing the hang-up button.
“Don’t!” she exclaims. “I was sending mixed signals. It isn’t all Robert’s fault!”
I throw her hand off the phone in misdirected anger. “I don’t care if you told him outright that you wanted him to fuck you. He signed a no-sex agreement, and he broke that as soon as he brought you to his place. So whatever mistakes you made are vastly eclipsed by what he did. But just for curiosity's sake, why don’t you lay out to me how this all went down, Patricia?”
She’s full-on crying now and has to wipe her face before she can begin. “Well, we went to that dinner event, and it was such a fun time. Everyone there was drinking this expensive champagne, and they didn’t seem affected by it at all, so when Robert offered me some I just took it.”
I reach over and hand her a tissue. She gently blots her eyes before continuing. “I was only going to have one glass, but itwas so good, and since no one else seemed drunk I figured it must have a really low alcohol content. So I drank more, and by the time the dinner was over, and I was supposed to go back to Robert’s for the last hour, I was very tipsy.”
“Did he notice you were tipsy?”
She nods. “Oh yes. He helped me to leave the restaurant and get into the car, but he wasn’t mad about it! He just said I was adorable when I had been drinking. And, well, it was really nice to hear him say that. After spending all night around so many beautiful, wealthy people, the idea that he’d still be so intrigued by me made me want even more of his attention. It felt… good. It made me feel important.”
As sick as her testimony makes me feel, I can’t help but also feel a sense of understanding toward her. I had been that girl once, too, getting drunk on champagne I couldn’t afford, and the attention of wealthy older men was very validating. It had given me a heady feeling of importance and self-worth, but when they eventually got tired of me I felt even more hollow than before.
“What happened next?” I ask.
Patricia takes a few breaths and ponders for a moment before she continues. “When we went upstairs he was showering me with compliments, saying how much he wished I could stay the night, and how lucky the first guy I’ll sleep with will be. I remember hinting that it could be him if he really wanted but after that… I don’t remember too much. I know he was gentle, and that I never said no, but I was so drunk at that point I had no idea what I really wanted.”
“The most important instruction for the night was not to drink more than a single glass. And at my agency, an instruction is anorderput in place to keep you safe. I can’t keep my girls safe if they aren’t following the rules I lay out.” I exhale, leaning back in my chair and staring at the ceiling. “I think it’s best we part ways, Patricia. Breaking the rules is a big no for me.”
Her tears start to come hot and fast again, her bottom lip quivering. “This is all my fault, isn’t it? I ruined this good thing I had going for myself and now all I have to show for losing my virginity is a check!”
I can’t lie, I’m also angry at Patricia. I had tried my best to impart on her the importance of not drinking more than a glass and insisted that no matter how she felt the night of, she was never supposed to have sex with Robert. As soon as I let her out on her own, she broke all of my rules, and put me in this absolutely disastrous situation.
Still, my heart aches for her. She looks so young and vulnerable that I can't help coming around to her side of the desk, pulling up a chair in front of her, and taking both her hands in mine.
“Just because you made mistakes doesn’t mean this was your fault. Robert knew the rules, he was sober, much older, and had signed numerous agreements put in place to keep you safe. It wasn’t your fault, Patricia.”
Through sniffles, she nods, squeezing my hands back. “I’m not even really mad at him. If I hadn’t been paid to be there, he’d have been the perfect date, you know?”
“He’s a very charming, convincing man, I’ll agree, but in my opinion this still borders on assault.” As I say the last word, a terrible thought comes into mind. “Patricia, did you tell anyone about this?”
She shakes her head immediately, but the way her eyes widened made me suspicious. I reach up and grab her chin between my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look into my eyes.
“Patricia, this is important. Did. You. Tell. Anyone?”
