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I can respect that. But I wonder how she’ll feel about only being able to marry one of us.
How the fuck will we choose?
“You rang.” Val’s voice sounds different. He’s…calm. Settled. He’s already decided.
“Zakar!” I bellow, knowing he’s around somewhere.
“What?”
Both men stand before me now, and I feel increasingly anxious. “Close the door.” As soon as it’s shut, I ask, “What if this isn’t what she needs?”
“Come again?” Val asks.
Zak glares at me. “A minute ago, you were all for this. You’ve gotten into your own fucking head.”
I can’t deny the truth. “You two never heard the way she spoke about the abuse she suffered. I worry that having three men pawing at her will trigger her.” I recognize the minute it hits them both. They hadn’t considered that, either. “Being with a man outside of wedlock is a sin to her. She doesn’t want to be intimate with someone until they’re married. How’s that going to work?” Might as well get it all on the table before we approach her with our plans.
“Perhaps we should clarify here and now what it is we want with her,” Valerian suggests. “Is it forever? A fling. Are we laying claim to Abilene before anyone else can realize how perfect she is?” A slow grin spreads across my face. Val is already smitten with her.
“Yeah, Val, I think we are.” I’ve been harboring my desire for the girl for months. Listening to her voice as she confessed so-called sins had me convinced she was the woman for me.
“Are we settled then?” Zak asks, clearly annoyed with the conversation. “Good, because I was about to go crawl in bed with her. I’m the only one who hasn’t had a chance to hold her yet.” His grumbled words follow him out of the room and up the stairs.
“When’s the doctor coming?” The ringing of the doorbell answers Val’s question.
* * *
Abilene
Heat surrounds me, and as I stare into the dimly lit room, I realize I wasn’t awakened by nightmares but by a warm body wrapping itself around me. “It’s just me.” I hear the whispered words and want to melt into Zakar, but I don’t know what this means. I’ve never lain with a man before. Is he expecting sex? “Relax.” His arms envelop me tighter, not encroaching on any sexual space but offered in comfort.
It’s an odd sensation, to be held. Touched. Without the expectation of more. Especially given that he’s clothed and I’m not.
I haven’t forgotten what happened in the bathtub. I didn’t mean to remain under the water for so long, nor to make them angry or worried, but I needed a moment. A single second in time where I had control of myself. I wanted to make a choice, no matter if it were devastating, and know that it was all mine.
“Why am I here?” I ask into the silence, turning my head to peer up at Zakar when I feel the fingers resting on my belly clench. Rolling over to face him, he doesn’t move, not even to gaze down when the blanket shifts and offers a glimpse at my nakedness. He stays focused on me.
“That’s complicated,” he hedges.
“I’m not sure how. I was on my way home. Levan stopped me and brought me here. You, Val, and he all seem to have this concern that hasn’t been present in my life in many years.” And until I was on the receiving end again, I hadn’t realized how much I missed it.
“We didn’t forget about you.”
“But you didn’t come for me, either.” And that’s what hurts.
“Correct.” His eyes close, and I see a hint of pain over what must feel like an accusation to him. “We didn’t know.” He stops talking, and when I’m about to ask him what they didn’t know, the doorbell can be heard echoing through the house. “That’ll be the doctor.” I feel the reluctance in his hands to let me go, but he does, only to come back and run a finger along my jaw, caressing me softly. The affectionate touch makes me crave something that isn’t possible. When I feel his lips on mine, I gasp in surprise. He takes advantage, sweeping his tongue into my mouth.
It’s a savoring kiss. Not at all as domineering as I expected. Leaning into his touch, I enjoy the taste of him. Strong coffee and mint spark my senses. When our tongues touch, I cannot temper how I react, gripping his hand with both of mine so he doesn’t let go as an inarticulate moan escapes my throat.
I register the bedroom door opening as he pulls back, and I try to follow him but stop when I hear, “Zakar.” Levan’s stern tone brings me back to reality. Glancing over at the man, I catch the way he watches us. Not with anger or disgust but with envy and what I believe is lust. The dynamics in this room are changing, and I’m not sure if it’s for the better or if I’m going to get burned. Because, surely, I’m the one with the most on the line and everything to lose, whereas they have had the experiences I’m feeling for the first time. They know the rules of this game; I don’t.
“Dr. Seery is here to give her an exam.” A woman enters after Levan, her eyes taking in the scene before her. Giving me a sly look, I get the feeling she knows more about what’s going on than I do.
“Hello, Abilene. I’m Seery.” Her smile appears genuine as she comes to sit on the bed next to me. Zak stands, and I want to call him back over. I don’t want him to leave.
As Levan leans in the open doorway, I’m shocked to admit I don’t want him to go, either. They both watch me until the door closes, and I think they were waiting for me to ask them to stay.
I wanted to.
