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The pain that flashes in his eyes makes my lungs constrict.
“I never meant for this to happen, Lainey.” The misery and regret in his voice are just more barbs to my broken heart. “I tried to fight it, but I lost the battle.”
I want to scream at him. I want to push him and slap him. I want to tell him he’s broken my heart. I want to ask him why he dated me when it was always Amber he really wanted. But I don’t because my pretending prolonged our relationship. This is all my own doing. And attacking him for the way my heart is breaking won’t change a thing.
Placing the strap of my handbag over my shoulder, I look down and nod. I’m not capable of saying anything to him, or of looking at him anymore. My stomach is still churning and my legs won’t hold me up much longer.
“Let me drive you home,” Lucas says softly.
The last thing I want is to spend the next twenty minutes in Lucas’s company, trying to pretend this isn’t one of the worst moments of my life. Besides, I’m sure Lucas isn’t ready to end his evening yet. He probably wants to stay up all night with Amber, talking about where they go from here, and how they take their friendship to the next level. Maybe they’ll even act on the long-denied attraction they’ve felt towards one another for so many years. If they haven’t already.
I close my eyes in an attempt to shut out the crushing pain that thought brings. How do I get home from here? We’re too far from the train station for me to walk, so an Uber might be my only option. Unless...
Ben is standing with Amber when I glance over at him. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that their conversation is very similar to ours. No surprises there. Ben’s expression is bitter, his body tense and his body language unreceptive as he listens to whatever it is Amber is telling him. When she reaches out to touch him, he stands back and says something so harsh that Amber flinches. Considering Ben is best friends with Amber’s brother, their break-up won’t be easy on either of them.
Ben starts stalking towards us, his angry and intense gaze fixed on Lucas. I position myself between the two men. Lucas may have just broken my heart, but I don’t want to see any harm come to him. Ben is all solid muscle from his job in security and he has a short fuse.
“Get out of my way, Lainey. This is between him and me.”
I step forward and place my hand on his arm. Thankfully, he doesn’t shrug it off or step away from me. “Please, can you give me a lift home?”
Honestly, I’ve never been on the back of a motorbike and I’m not particularly keen to get on the back of Ben’s, especially when he’s in such a dark mood. But getting a ride home from him beats the alternative.
For a moment, he looks set to rebuff me, but when he finally looks at my face and stares into my eyes, his jaw tightens and he nods. We’re like mirrors, reflecting each other’s pain.
“Let’s go,” he says, grabbing my elbow and walking me back to the booth to grab his jacket and the helmets before I have a chance to change my mind. Not that I have any intention of that.
The moment we’re out the door, I hug myself against the cold.
“Lainey, wait.” Lucas follows us out of the building and runs in front of us, halting our progress. “Bikes scare the crap out of you. Please let me drive you home.”
“No thanks, Lucas,” I say stiffly. “I can’t spend twenty minutes making small talk about things that don’t matter.”
“Then we’ll drive in silence.”
“I’ll take my chances on the bike, thanks.”
“Lainey, I don’t want things to end like this. Can we at least be friends?”
“Friends?” I snap. “No, Lucas. I don’t want to be your friend. I’m in love with you and my heart is fucking broken. Please don’t ask me to pretend I’m fine with what’s happened between us tonight, because I’m really not.”
He hangs his head, and I have no doubt he feels guilty, but it’s not his guilt I want. It is and always has been his love I’m desperate for.
When he looks at me again, his eyes look glassy in the pale light of the moon. “I’m so sorry.”
Not as sorry as I am. It was a stupid gamble, dating Lucas when he so obviously cared for someone else. A gamble that went on for years longer than it should have.
Ben is hot on my tail as I walk past my now ex-boyfriend. My sole focus is getting on Ben’s bike and getting the hell out of here.However, my newfound courage for motorbikes nearly fails me when we get to Ben’s bike and he hands me the helmet Amber must have worn during the ride here.
“I’ll drive safely,” Ben assures me, taking the helmet back and pushing it over my head.
The ponytail I’d swept my long dark blonde hair into hours ago is now uncomfortably wedged against my scalp. “Thanks.”
Ben throws a leg over his bike and straddles it before turning the engine on and motioning for me to get on. As soon as I’m seated behind him, he revs the engine and I wrap my arms around his waist.
Sitting this close to him, I can smell the leather of his jacket and the scent of his aftershave. It’s not an unpleasant smell at all, but it’s not Lucas’s butterfly-inducing scent, and it simply serves as a reminder that I’m not with the person I want to be with. Something I’m sure Ben must also be thinking. Amber should be on the back of this bike, not me.
“Ready?” Ben grunts at me.
