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If I were an honourable man, I would call her and tell her to forget Thursday and forget about us having fun together. If I were a decent guy, I would put a stop to the guaranteed clusterfuck us being together will bring.
Clearly, I'm not a decent guy.
“This world trip of yours is going to be the making of you,” Diana says. “You've been talking about it for the past five years.”
“Yep, I have, and it's taken me this long to save up for it.”
She reaches forward and covers my hand with her own. “Following a dream is the most rewarding, satisfying, and terrifying thing you'll ever do. Does Austin know you're going yet?”
“No, I haven't spoken to him since I booked the ticket.”
“Well, he'll want to know.” She sits back and looks at me, her eyes suddenly piercing instead of gentle and warm. “And so will Claire, though I warn you she won't like it.”
“Knowing Claire, she'll be pleased to be rid of me,” I joke.
“Knowing Claire, she'll be devastated you're leaving,” Diana corrects me. “But she'll do her best to hide it.”
I swallow. “She'll be fine.”
Austin and Diana are well-acquainted with the way I stir Claire, as well as Claire's temper where I'm concerned. Since I've spent so much time with the Chase family over the years, Claire's mother and brother have had front-row seats to our sometimes playful, other times antagonistic, relationship, so Diana's comment is more than a little bit surprising.
“Don't underestimate the effect this will have on her, Dylan. Claire hates change. Loathes it. She's never been as adaptableas Austin, her father, or me. No matter how antagonistic your relationship towards each other may be at times, you've been a regular and consistent part of her world. Your leaving is going to be hard on her. It's going to shake her sense of security.”
“She'll be fine,” I repeat.
I need to believe that now more than ever, especially after what happened last night. And still, I know there is some truth to what Diana is saying. Maybe I've known all along that my leaving would be difficult for Claire and that's why I've put this trip off for so long.
Sure, I've been taking my time so I could save up for the trip, but I could have gone years ago if I really wanted to. I would have had less money, but there is always plenty of work abroad for an Aussie bartender.
Who am I kidding? I've been waiting. Waiting for Claire to be okay. Waiting for her to settle down with her dream guy in her dream house according to plan. But the years have flown by and I've realised there is no putting off my trip anymore. The New Zealand job offer felt like the universal blessing for me to go.
And now, instead of seeing Claire settled down before I leave, I'm participating in an impractical and destructive sexual relationship at the end of which I plan to bolt – not just from her bed, but from her life.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I have to end it.
“Don't leave it too late to tell her,” Diana says. “Give her as much time as you can for her to adjust to the idea.”
“You're right,” I say, standing up. “I have to tell her. The sooner the better.”
Diana waves her hand dismissively. “Well, don't leave, then. She'll be here any tick of the clock.”
Sweat prickles under my armpits as my heart thuds too heavily in my rib cage. “Claire's coming? Here?”
Diana frowns. “Yes, I invited her to dinner. Is everything okay between you two?”
I try to smile, but considering the effort I have to put into making my lips curve upwards, I'm pretty sure it looks as off as it feels. “Just the same as always.”
And I'm a dog and a liar.
“Have dinner with us, Dylan. That way I can make a toast to your trip, and you can talk to Claire about it. Save you driving all that way to see her.”
While Diana's suggestion makes perfect sense, the idea of seeing Claire here has me panicking for multiple reasons. One, Diana obviously has no idea that I had sex with her daughter last night and I prefer to keep it that way. Two, I have no idea how to act around Claire now. I've been going out of my way to annoy her for years and it will look strange to Diana if I stray from the usual script and don't tease her daughter when she arrives. Three, Claire already knows about my trip. And finally, I just realised I need to end this thing between us.
How am I supposed to do that in front of Diana? I can't.
