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Once we've finished riding the wave together, he leans his forehead against mine. For a moment I feel content, almost euphoric. It's as if I'm floating in a bubble of happiness; my longest-held, most cherished, and deepest buried secret dreams have just come true.
Then he withdraws from me, throws the condom into the trashcan in my bedroom, and instead of coming back to lie downbeside me, he starts getting dressed. My happy bubble instantly pops.
Remember this is supposed to be fun. Nothing more.
He worked all night; he's tired. He probably doesn't want to spend the night with me. I ignore the stabbing pain in my heart and remind myself that I asked for exactly this, that I assured him I didn't want anything more than this from him.
I keep my eyes off his body and follow his lead, putting on the dressing gown hanging on the back of my bedroom door. He dresses with swift, practiced movements, making me wonder just how much experience he has hurriedly getting dressed after he's been intimate with a woman. On second thought, I don't want to know.
Tying the sash of my gown around my waist, I feel his eyes on me and look up to see him staring at me intently. I have the distinct impression he's measuring my reaction to his obvious desire to get out of here. Is he testing me? Is that what this is? Is he trying to evaluate what impact our sleeping together has had on me?
If this is a test, I want to pass it with flying colours. I sashay up to him and give him a kiss on the cheek. “That was...really great. Thanks, Dylan. I'll see you out.”
He looks surprised by my dismissal, causing me to smile on the inside. I half expect him to comment, but he doesn't say anything; he just nods and lets me lead the way to the door. The cold breeze blows in as soon as I open the heavy wood and glass door, but I brace myself against it and try to look as if I do this sort of thing – kiss my lover goodnight – often.
The truth is, I'm a snuggler. I like to cuddle after sex, and I enjoy the conversation late at night when you're sharing a bed with someone. Since I've always made sure to be in a steady relationship with a man before having sex with him, I've neverhad any trouble getting cuddles after sex. Obviously, there won't be any post-coital snuggling with Dylan.
Oh well. There are other benefits. I've never been with a man who seems to care so much about exploring my body and pleasuring me the way Dylan just did.
He pauses just inside the door. “I've got Thursday night off if you want to... catch up again.”
His choice of words and the way he smiles at me leaves me with little doubt he's interested in having sex with me again. It certainly isn't a request for a date. I could act coy and tell him I need to check my calendar, which is something I might have done if he was someone I was serious about, but I've already told him I'm a sure thing.
“Sounds like fun. Give me a call.”
“I will. Bye, Claire.”
He doesn't even kiss me on the lips on his way out, just drops a peck on my cheek and walks away.
I close the door behind him and lean against it. As difficult as it was, I nailed his first exit after sex. Okay, so I can't call myself a pro at this whole quick-sex-for-fun thing, but I'll get the hang of it. If there's one thing I have to get used to, it's Dylan leaving.
12
Dylan
“I'm so proud of you, Dylan-honey.”
I smile a little self-consciously as I look into a pair of blue-green eyes almost exactly the same as the pair I was staring into last night.
Aside from the hair that Diana Chase wears longer than her daughter, and the wrinkles spreading out from her eyes and bracketing her mouth, Diana and Claire are the spitting image of one another. But that is where the similarities end. Diana is a free-spirited artist who sees staying in one place too long as the ultimate stagnation.
Well, she viewed it as the ultimate stagnation until she moved to Oakleigh nine years ago. That was Austin's final year of high school, the same year we met. I think Diana always intended to move away once Austin graduated, but seeing how close Austin and I were, and how settled Claire was with Kara and her friends at the high school, she stayed. Diana has moved house plenty since then, but she hasn't moved from the area. I'm pretty sure that's because she wants to stay close to her daughter.
It wasn't as if I set out to make a regular date of visiting Diana every Sunday. It just sort of happened after I promised Austin I would look after his family. After a couple of impromptu visits around afternoon tea time on a Sunday, Diana insisted we make it a regular thing and I readily agreed. Claire's mum is an easy woman to talk to. She lives to paint. It's her passion and I admire her a lot for having the heart to follow her dreams in a world that begs people to conform.
The fact that the admiration I have for her is mutual doesn't hurt, either. Austin and Claire's mother has always had a soft spot for me. It's fair to say that Diana understands me far better than my own mother. Diana regularly refers to me as her second son, and considers me part of the family, which probably went a long way towards strengthening my friendship with Austin over the years.
And how did I repay nine years of solid friendship? I slept with Austin's sister. Diana's daughter. Then I left her before the sheets had even cooled. It's probably good I'm leaving the country because Austin is more than likely going to demand I leave and never come back once he finds out. Was risking it all worth it?
Absolutely.
Unexpectedly, my heart speeds up as memories from last night overwhelm me; the way Claire turned up at my bar without underwear on, the way her lip gloss and the butterscotch schnapps tasted on her tongue as she kissed me, and the way she clung to me as I drove myself inside her over and over until I met the most pleasurable end. I only had the smallest taste of what she has to offer last night, and it wasn't anywhere near enough.
Leaving her the way I did, right after we'd finished screwing each other's brains out, wasn't the plan when I decided to go home with her. But the way she looked up at me as we were both coming down from the high of sex caused my heart to squeeze in my chest, my stomach to flip, and lust to tighten my belly once more.
I've never needed a woman like that, not right after sex. The combination of unfamiliar sensations freaked me out. And realising I was experiencing those unfamiliar sensations with Claire freaked me out even more. Claire takes everything too seriously. And even though she said casual was fine – eventhough she acted like it was no big deal that I high-tailed it out of there right after – I know it was a big deal for her.
I always knew deep down that sleeping with Claire would turn my world upside down. It was a mistake, to be sure, but it's one I won't be able to resist repeating, hence our Thursday date.
