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"Just like you know he has this thing about me dating guys who don't want to stick around and marry me."
"He's always been upfront about what he does and doesn't want for you."
"What about what I want?" she asks softly, stepping even closer to me and reaching up to straighten my tie.
Her boldness takes me by surprise. I've never minded girls being upfront about what they want, but my body and mind have never responded this quickly to the prospect. The husky quality of her voice alone is enough to turn my blood ten times thicker. It's on the tip of my tongue to ask her exactly what she wants, but if she tells me straight out that she wants to go to bed with me, my already stretched self-control might snap.
"What you want doesn't matter when it's bad for you," I tell her as firmly as possible.
"Drop the big brother act, Dylan. I'm twenty-five, nearly twenty-six. I think I should get to decide what's bad for me."
"Only if you're capable of telling good ideas from bad ones. Judging by the fact you came here looking to talk to me, I don't think you are."
"I told you the other night; I just want to have some fun." Her fingernail scrapes against one of my shirt buttons.
"Claire," I warn, my temperature on the rise and my dick jumping against the front of my pants at the thought of what she has in mind. "You need to drop this."
"You know, Austin told me that once upon a time you wanted to ask me out, but he warned you off."
Well, that explains the change between Thursday night and tonight. Now I just have to kill Austin for spilling the beans to Claire. The fact that she had no idea I was attracted to her was my saving grace on more than one occasion.
"He was one-hundred percent right to do that. I couldn't have given you what you wanted."
"You're probably right," she acknowledges, surprising me. "I had a crush on you then and I probably couldn't have slept with you without hoping for a happily-ever-after, even though I was only sixteen. But I can now. I'm not looking for a commitment. I know you're not my Mr Perfect. I just want to have a good time with someone I'm incredibly attracted to," she says, lowering her eyes once more and plucking at my shirt buttons.
Her words should reassure me, but they don't. I know Claire well enough to know that us sleeping together would be a bigger deal than she lets on. "I can't sleep with you, Claire."
She flinches, and it's the second time tonight I've seen her eyes dim. It must have taken a bucket-load of courage for her to come down here to proposition me, especially after the way I rejected her years ago. The thought makes my heart clench in my chest, but I can't afford to let her think for a second that I'm weak where she's concerned. Not just because I could kiss my friendship with Austin goodbye if I touched her, but because I'm not planning to stick around. I'm out of here in a few months.
And I don't know if I'm ever coming back.
"Because of Austin and his warning?" she asks. "Or because you really can't see us having any fun together? And please be honest with me. I think I deserve that."
"I don't think it matters when the outcome is the same."
"It matters to me," she persists, making me feel that much worse. "Listen, Dylan,” she continues. “My friends made me aware of something the other night. Between my job and my on-going search for the right man, I haven't been enjoying myself all that much. In fact, flirting with Sam on Thursday and working with you behind the bar tonight have been the most fun I've had in a really long time. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I want to let loose and have a bit of fun. If you're not interested, that's fine. I'll just find someone else who is."
Her threat to find someone else for her ‘fun’ sends a fierce wave of possessiveness through me. It is so unfamiliar and so unwanted I'm blindsided by it.
Hell yeah, I want to go to bed with her, but there would be consequences. There always are. We wouldn't just be two people sleeping together. Our lives have been intertwined for the past nine years and I care for her a great deal. I always have. That said, I have no desire to settle down with her and give her the things she hungers for. She says all she wants is fun, but I've never seen Claire take anything lightly. Moreover, Austin would kill me for going to bed with Claire and then leaving.
"What about my friendship with Austin?" I ask. "What happens when he finds out we've been sleeping together?"
"He doesn't have to know."
"You want me to lie to my best friend?"
Uncertainty flashes across her face before a look of determination replaces it. "You could always tell him the truth. That we're both consenting adults and we're having fun together."
"He'd never forgive me. Our friendship would be over."
"Both of you would be idiots if you let your friendship end over something that happened between you and me."
"I can't do that to him, Claire. I'm sorry."
"You're turning me down?" she asks.
The slight quiver in her voice goes straight through my heart and turns me inside out. She looks even more vulnerable than she did when she asked me out all those years ago.
