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“But then I was talking to Austin about what happened last night, and he told me that back then, Dylan wanted to go out with me.”
“Then...” Kara blinks, clearly confused.
“But Austin warned him off, the same way Dylan warned Sam off last night. Dylan decided he wouldn't ask me out and then rejected me because Austin wouldn't approve.”
“That...that pussy!” Kara sputters. “You're better off without him. Seriously, Claire.”
I appreciate Kara saying so. She probably thinks it's what I need to hear, but for some reason I don't feel better off without Dylan. At sixteen, I was crazy about him. He was my heart'sdesire, and I was robbed of the chance to act on it. He's always been the opposite of everything I should want. Back then, he was a bit of a bad boy, but there was something so magnetic about him, I wasn't able to resist the pull I felt to him.
Even last night, being in his orbit, I completely lost my head. And the look in his eyes right before I thought he was about to kiss me makes my stomach twist in knots every time I think about it. He affects me. He always has. I've spent the past nine years of my life trying to convince myself I hate him because it's easier to label what I feel as hate. After he rejected me, I had to find a way to put distance between us. But I don't hate him. Not at all.
Sure, he'll never fit into my plan for the ideal life. My brother is right about that. Dylan values his personal freedom too much to ever make me happy long-term. Settling down and buying a house and having a family isn't on his list of things to do in this lifetime. But my friends want me to take a timeout from my plan and I need to have some fun. If I'm going to spend the next few months of my life dedicated to having fun, I want to have it with Dylan.
“Claire?”
I look at my friend. “I still want him.”
“Oh, God. No, Claire. He is not part of your plan.”
“Exactly. He's not part of my plan. You guys said I should have fun.”
“Not with Dylan.”
“Why not?”
“Because you like him, Claire. You like him way too much to have fun with him.”
“That's a ridiculous thing to say. I know nothing is ever going to come of it. Isn't that the best kind of guy to have fun with?”
Kara shakes her head. “It's a bad idea. Trust me. Let it go. Let him go.”
I sigh, pushing away the plate in front of me. “I don't think I can, Kar.”
“How do you know he's still interested?”
It's a good question. Just because Dylan was into me nine years ago doesn't mean he still is today. But I could have sworn he wanted to kiss me last night, if only just for a split second.
Despite Kara's reservations, I feel that this time in my life is the perfect opportunity to pursue a fling with Dylan. And when it's over, Dylan will finally be out of my system and I can get on with searching for Mr Right.
“I don't know if he's still interested, but I'm going to find out.”
Kara is shaking her head and looking worried. “I really don't think you should do this, but I know better than to try and talk you out of something when you've made up your mind. So, tell me, what's your plan?”
“I might go back to Brody's tomorrow, see if Dylan has spoken to Austin and test the waters.”
“I'm supposed to go over to Dad's for dinner tomorrow, but I can put it off if you want me to come with you?”
I shake my head. “Thanks, but I'll be okay. Besides, just in case I have it wrong and he shoots me down again, I would prefer you weren't a witness.”
“Okay. Call me if you change your mind.”
“Thanks, Kar, I will.”
As I wave Kara off for the night, I finally allow myself to feel excited. I'm going after Dylan James.
5
Dylan
