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She huffs. “You know I don’t go for the nice guys. The next thing you know, they’re talking about weddings, babies, and white picket fences.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that. He’s already been through a failed marriage. I don’t think he’s too keen on rushing into another one.”
She squints at me for a few seconds before shrugging. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Just because you’re my sister and I love you so, so, much.”
“You’re full of shit,” I mutter, my voice dryer than the martini I’m sipping.
“Have you booked the tickets?”
Turning on my front, I rest my head on my arms and close my eyes. “Yes.” I blow out a puff of air. “It’s going to be weird going without Lucas.”
It took me forever to press the confirmation button to book the tickets to Atlanta for Lizzy and me. It’s not that I didn’t want to go. I just didn’t want to answer the million questions that were sure to be asked when I arrived without Lucas. The pain of our separation is still just too much, and having to talk about it with everyone will not only be painful, but humiliating as well. At first, I thought of maybe skipping it this year. Then, for a split second, I even considered inviting Lucas and pretending that all was still okay, but that was just crazy. Telling myself to man the fuck up, I finally booked it. I wouldn’t allow this situation to come between me and my family. It’s not like I could keep our split a secret forever, anyway. I also didn’t want to disappoint Lizzy. It wouldn’t be fair to her to miss out just because I didn’t want to deal.
“If you want, I can smooth things over before you get there.”
Mom hates flying, so every year, Lillian and I take turns flying with her. This year it’s Lillian’s turn, and Lizzy and I will be leaving on the Friday evening.
I seriously consider her offer but ultimately shake my head. This is my train wreck, so I have to deal with the fallout.
“Thanks, but it’s okay.”
“Do you think there’s something between uncle Ben and Mom? Besides friendship.”
Pushing myself up on my elbows, I stare at her, chewing my bottom lip. Honestly, I'm not surprised by her question. I've seen things that made me sit up and take notice, but I'd brush it off, writing it off as my imagination.
“Why are you asking? Has Mom said anything?”
She shakes her head, turning on her side to face me. “It’s just a feeling I get. Her face lights up every time we talk about him. She’s always so excited to see him, and when they’re together, she changes. She seems…content and peaceful. Like she is where she’s meant to be.”
I nod my head. Mom had never shown any interest in men after Dad’s death. She’s still a beautiful woman, and both Lillian and I have encouraged her to date, but she’s always shut us down, saying she’s happy with the way things are. I’d always thought it was due to the trauma of being married to a serial cheater. But what if it is because she’s already in love with someone? Someone she thought she couldn’t have?
“Would you be upset if there was? I mean, he’s family, kind of. Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“Not really. He technically stopped being family the day he got divorced.”
She tips her glass for another sip and frowns, realizing it’s empty. Getting up to grab the glass pitcher for a refill, she smiles impishly.
“Besides, it would be a boss move if she and uncle Ben got together. It will have Dad rolling in his grave, and can you imagine cockroach’s face when she finds out?”
She chuckles while taking her seat and lying back down again. “I’ll make sure to track her down wherever she is and inform her personally. Rub her face in it.”
My chuckle echoes hers at the thought. The day we found out Mom’s sister had an affair with Dad, she stopped being family, and Lillian and I dubbed her “cockroach.”
“Turnabout is fair play, I guess. I would love to see her happy, and I know Uncle Ben would never hurt her, but what if she wants to move to Atlanta?”
She shakes her head. “Nope, no, not happening. If he wants to be with her, he’ll have to move here. There’s no way Mom’s moving so far away.”
“I agree. Maybe that will be the motivation she needs to finally sell that damn house and start over.”
***
I switch the TV off and make my way to the kitchen. Lillian left about an hour ago, needing to get ready for a date with that detective. Although she refused to call it a date. She claims he’s way too busy with his career for a relationship, so they only hook up from time to time, and it suits her perfectly. A few months ago, I would have scoffed at her, told her she doesn’t know what she’s missing out on not being in a committed relationship and the intimacy that comes with it. Now though, I think she’s onto something. Having casual sex to scratch the itch with no expectations seems a lot safer than developing feelings for someone. Back in uni, I used to think that way, but then Lucas blew into my life and convinced me that a happy ever after was possible. And look how that turned out.
I’m busy dusting the star-shaped cookies I’ve made for theme week at Lizzy’s school with gold dust when the front door slams open, and I hear Lizzy’s footsteps racing to the kitchen.
