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Which was bullshit.
It’s not like I’d actually believed any of our justifications in the hotel room in Wanted. I couldn’t believe he’d achieved closure while I hadn’t. That just honestly wasn’t fair.
“Well, that’s just fucking rude,” Shawna said. “I think it was obvious you weren't serious about getting closure. He should have understood that.”
“Right?”
That was it. I’d officially become certifiable. Nothing about any of this was in any way logical.
“I sound crazy, don’t I?” I asked.
“Just a little bit. But that’s okay. Love does that to you.”
I reared back from my phone, shocked at her words. “Love? What are you talking about?”
“Now you really sound crazy. What do you mean, what am I talking about? It is so obvious you’re in love with him. You haven’t stopped thinking about him or talking about him since Cash’s wedding. You were already half gone and now you’re friends on top of it all. Sex plus friendship plus a deep desire to spend every second with that person or talking about that person equals love. Or damn near close.” Shawna nodded, like she was so experienced in recognizing the signs of love.
I was shocked. But not sure I could argue with her.
It was definitelysomething.
I didn’t know if it was love, because I’d never been in love before. I wasn’t sure how to go about identifying it. “Are you sure it isn’t just an extended crush left over from my teen years?”
“How would you feel if MacKay started dating another woman?”
A blinding rage collided with a deep agonizing hole in my chest as my heart felt like it was torn outside of my body. The overwhelming emotions took my breath away. Huh. That wasn’t good.
“I would completely and totally lose my shit,” I admitted.
“See? Love. The signs are all there.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked, totally stressed out. “I can’t be in love with MacKay. It’s just a bad idea for so many reasons.”
“Accept your fate. Don’t fight it. Oh, and wear a super hot dress to the bourbon event party.”
I put my hand on my hot cheek. I felt flushed and confused and achy in places that only MacKay could ease. “I have to fight it,” I said. “MacKay wants a wife, kids. That terrifies me.”
“He didn’t ask you to marry him. Don’t get ahead of yourself. All I’m saying is be honest with yourself about your feelings.”
My feelings were definitely complicated, confusing, and unprecedented. “That’s easy for you to say.”
“At least your life is interesting. I’m rotting in my old bedroom while my brother has a raging social life. It’s obnoxious.”
“Come to Nashville for the event party,” I said impulsively. “That way you can get a read on the situation in person. Maybe I’m not in love with MacKay and you’ll instantly see that when we’re together.”
“Isn’t that party in like a week?” She asked skeptically. But she sounded intrigued.
I shook my head. “Two whole weeks. Besides, it’s not like you’re busy. You can stay here at my brother’s house. Cash and Sera won’t care.” The thought of having Shawna in town had me excited. I needed a friend in my corner.
“Will there be a swag bag? I always see those on influencers' posts.”
That made me laugh. “Yes.”
“I’m in. Do you want me to flirt with MacKay and see how he reacts?”
I sat straight up, horrified and alarmed. “No! Absolutely not!”
Shawna laughed. “Kidding. Girl, you are so in love.”
