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“If things get too bad to stay.”
“God, I hate this.” Her expression fell. “I hate it so much. I guess I thought… I’d hoped that things had gotten better between you. But they haven’t, have they?” She touched her head to mine, inhaling deeply.
“No, B. They haven’t.” Something cracked inside me.
I didn’t let myself think about it often because there was no fucking point in crying over spilt milk. But sometimes, the thought creeped in.
What was wrong with me?
What made me so unlovable that neither of my parents wanted me? I wasn’t a bad kid. Sure, I’d become a bit of a handful as I’d got older. But what teenage boy living in The Row didn’t?
“You deserve better, Nix.” She laid her hand on my cheek and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You always did.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t need them.” I don’t need anyone except you and my friends. “I have something to ask you, and I know you’re not going to want to do it, but just hear me out, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Coach said the scouts from Albany U might come to Friday’s game and I want you there, B. I fucking need you there.”
“I-I can’t Nix.” She paled. “I can’t go back there.”
“You can go with Chloe. You can sneak in and watch from under the bleachers. I’ll get the groundskeeper to put a couple of chairs under there.”
“Nix…”
“I need you there, B. This is a big fucking deal to me.” One I still wasn’t sure I was ready for. “But I can’t do it without you.”
Maybe I was pushing too hard, too soon, but it wasn’t like I was asking her to sit front and center in the bleachers surrounded by my classmates. Chloe could sneak her in and out unnoticed. Lyle, the groundskeeper, would help me if I asked.
“You really want me there?”
“I do. Promise me you’ll try.”
“I…”
“Say it, Birdie.” I kissed her, sliding my hand along the curve of her neck, distracting her. And yeah, maybe manipulating her a little. But I liked to think of it as gentle coercion.
I needed her there.
I needed her full stop.
“Say it.”
She pulled back, breathless and starry-eyed and whispered, “I promise.”
