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My arm is around her the entire time, and not a bit of it ispretend.
We finally greet Xavier, who seems affable for someone who said he had no confidence in me this morning. “Daisy, you look lovely. What a wonderful reception. Ben,” he says lightly, his gaze landing on me, “you could at least pretend to be having a goodtime.”
I’m standing straight, my hand tightened into a fist, because his civilitychafes.
The whole reason Daisy and I wound up together was for tonight, for him, and he’s considering handing the firm over toHolt.
I pull him aside, lowering my voice. “I have worked my ass off to make this company money, and to be what you wanted. I hope that you’re not seriously thinking of putting Holt in your chair because of one mistake. He couldn’t run a lemonadestand.”
I tug Daisy out into the hall, not once looking back until we’re back in the vaulted foyer that’s empty now save for security at the door, and a couple of late stragglers drifting through to theballroom.
"Ben, what’s going on?" Daisy asks, concerned as she peers up atme.
I clench my jaw, torn between kissing her and spilling my guts about what just happened, how fucking blindsided Ifeel.
I tell her about the deal and her eyes widen in shock and dismay. “I’m sosorry.”
“Maybe I did fuck up,” I bite out, frustrated. “I wanted this deal more than I wanted to do the rightthing.”
“Mistakes happen. We all have lapses injudgment.”
“No,” I say, letting out a half laugh. “Not you. From the first night we spent together you’ve been the only thing that’s true. You’ve stood by me always and I thought we were friends, but that’s not enough forme.”
I cup her face in my hands, needing to touch her, needing her steadiness to groundme.
“I’ve tried to deny it, but I can’t and I don’t want to. I love you. I'min lovewithyou.”
Daisy’s face is pale, her eyesshining.
She presses her lips together while my heart thuds under mytux.
“Ben, I love youtoo.”
Hope soars through me, soothing the battered feelings of betrayal andfrustration.
“But I need to tell you something. I can’t have it between usanymore.”
Concern twines with surprise as I press my forehead to hers. “Tell me anything.Everything.”
I don’t want her to stress. There’s nothing she could say to erase the joy of saying those words, of having her say themback.
Her hands band around my wrists, as if she needs to hold me in place as she takes a breath. “Back in college, the night your mom went to the hospital for the first time…it wasn’t Vi you slept with. It wasme.”
I’m sure I’ve misheard. She can’t possibly be saying what I think she is. “What?”
“Vi and I fought that night. I wanted to know what it felt like to say, ‘Fuck it,’ so I put on her clothes and her makeup. I wasn’t trying to be her, at least not consciously, I just wanted to feel something.” Her fingers dig into my biceps, but I don’t move closer or away. It’s all I can do to breathe. “And while I was out looking for that, I foundyou.”
“I was torn upabout—”
“Your mom,” she finishes softly. “After your dad lefther.”
I swallow, but it’s hard. “No. I was with Vi. We went to mycar.”
“My hair got caught in the door. You tugged it out,” Daisymurmurs.
No.
The events of the past days, weeks, months come tumbling down one after another, ending in a pile of broken expectations I can’t examine tooclosely.
