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“It’s an original edition of one of the most revered sex books of all time,” Icorrect.
My friend surprises me not by flushing, but by opening the cover and studying the pages. “You think I’m not good? Or that Jax isn’t? Because I can promise you at least one of usis.”
I shake my head as we swing through the doors, and I point at a booth at the back where we can spreadout.
“So I picked up some samples on the way into town,” I say, unpacking the materials from mybag.
Haley’s eyes widen as she looks at them. “You did allthis?”
“Yup. We’ve got flowers, linens… oh, and this is a swatch of the lace from your dress. I got it from the boutique. But first we need to nail down the numbers.” I rummage through my bag. “I started working on a guestlist…”
I produce it, and she scans the numbers, wide-eyed. “Fivehundred?”
“And that’s the short list,” I insist. “Haley, Jax is a celebrity. This is basically a royal wedding, minus Westminster Abby and the horses. Although there can behorses.”
“It’s toomuch.”
“Fine, nohorses.”
“No, I mean this. Everything you’re doing. You’re a great friend.” The numbness thaws a little at the gratitude on her face, but I see concern there too. “How are things withWes?”
And the thaw is gone, replaced by stabbingpain.
“I haven’t seen him.” I fix the hair that’s falling out of my ponytail, which is suddenly the most important thing in the world. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to bum youout.”
“Tell me,” she saysautomatically.
“Wes went out for this job in Seattle. He didn’t get it, but it completely freaked him out.” Even replaying our last meeting in my mind makes my chest constrict until I’m not sure I can breathe. “He wanted space. We haven’t talked inweeks.”
At least I’ve had work and Haley’s wedding to throw myselfinto.
“I’m so sorry. What about the work you were doing together? The DNA datingthing?”
A fresh kind of guilt washes over me. “We thought we found someone to buy it, but it fell through. The guy decided it wasn’t far enough along. Which is probably on me. I didn’t do a good enough job communicating what it is, and what it couldbe.”
“So this guy told Wes no. And Wes told you no. The Serena I remember doesn’t do ‘no.’”
I shift forward onto my elbows, ignoring the papers I’m messing up along the way. “Haley, the Serena you remember wasn’t way out of her depth. This love thing? I know it looks good on you and Jax, but I’m starting to think you’re an exception. For the rest of us, itsucks.”
Haley bites into a french fry, looking thoughtful. “Are you forgetting the part where I walked away? Or when Jax wouldn’t speak to me for...” She shudders, “way toolong?”
“No,” Iadmit.
“But some part of me never gave up. When Jax and I were separated, it stopped me seeing him, but it didn’t stop me lovinghim.
“He couldn’t control me, or what I did, or how I felt. Wes can’t make you stop loving him, if that’s what youwant.”
“That sounds like ithurts.”
Haley sighs. “What’s the alternative? You decide not to care about him? It does hurt. But without the rain, there’s no sun. If you’re not willing to let it hurt, you don’t get the good stuff on the other side. And trust me.” Her smile is kind and real and wise all at once. “It’s goodstuff.”
I turn it over in my mind. “Do you think your computer friend at Penn would help me withsomething?”
Haley blinks. “Um. I’ll help you withit.”
“No way. You’re famous and planning awedding.”
“That’s what friends arefor.”
