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I’m left standing on the street on shaky legs with no time to respond. For a minute, her words don’t register. What is Ellie talking about? I would never betray Livy. And then it hits me. Friday night in the hotel lobby bar, the woman who sat down next to me who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to be polite at first when she introduced herself and made small talk but then realized she mistook my kindness for a come on.
My admission that I was already in a relationship did nothing to stop that woman. She knew what she wanted.
Me. On her bed in her hotel room. She basically told me as much.
Asking the bartender to settle my tab, I knew I needed to get away from her. Unfortunately, she pounced on me before I had the chance to leave, catching me completely off guard when she forced her mouth on mine.
Was Livy there that night? Could she have seen that crazy woman assault my mouth? That must be it. It was Friday night when she started to avoid me. Fuck. I can only imagine what that must have looked like, the conclusions she must have jumped to. No wonder she won’t talk to me, I wouldn’t talk to me either.
I walk to my car, gathering my thoughts. The good news - I now know why Livy is avoiding me and I know I can fix this. It’s too late to drive back to Cape May so I drive to the beach house where I’ll stay the night and figure out how to get my girl back.
I need Livy to understand that she’s the only one for me. I’m sure she must think I’ve gone back to my old ways but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The days of going out to bars to meet girls are long gone and there’s nothing about casual hook ups that I miss. I only want a life with her. I want late night walks on the beach together. I want Livy in the chair beside me at family dinners. I will never be able to see a star in the sky and not think of her wearing my necklace. I need to make her see this. I need to show Livy with actions and not just words that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I lay in bed with my phone in my hand thinking of her, thinking of ways I can really show her she’s my whole world. I flip through the pictures of Livy I have saved on my phone, smiling when I get to the photos of her in my arms in bed with me at the beach house. I can still feel her hands all over me, her long golden hair tickling my chest. I fell in love with her that weekend. I miss her so fucking much. I can’t wait to get her back in my arms where she belongs. And I know just how I’m going to do it. I close my eyes, hoping to dream of Livy and praying I can pull this off.
I wake up the next morning with a plan. It’s a plan I want to set in motion right away, but I can’t do it alone. I pick up my phone and dial her number, hoping together we can pull this off.
“Hello?”
“Ellie, it’s me Parker. Please don’t hang up.” The desperation in my voice is real. I’m not too proud to get on my hands and knees if I have to.
“Fine. You have two minutes. What do you want?” Ellie sasses me back while I say a silent prayer.
“Look, the whole situation Livy saw at the hotel bar was not what she thinks it was. Seriously, she has the world’s worst timing but that’s beside the point. I love her, Ellie. I can’t be without her. I need your help.”
I tell her everything about that night. She confirms to me Livy was there and witnessed everything. My heart sinks, knowing Livy had to see that and think for even a second that I could ever hurt her like that.
“Okay Parker, I’m listening. But if you hurt my best friend, I’ll have no problem killing you and hiding your body. Got it?”
“Loud and clear.”
Twenty-Four
Olivia
After five days of hiding away in my apartment, I have zero tears left to cry and I’m ready to go back to work. You just need time. This is the advice I’ve been given from multiple people, Kate and my mom included when I poured my broken heart out to them. I will just have to trust that whoever it was that said time is a broken heart’s best friend was probably right. I’m assuming they know this after having also had their hearts stomped on by an ex-boyfriend.
Ellie and Leah have been so patient with me, but I’ve wallowed long enough. It’s time to ditch the sweatpants and filthy hair and get my ass off the couch - if it’s not permanently stuck there at this point. I’ve been down this road before and I will survive another breakup with Parker. I have no other choice.
I may have stopped crying, but that doesn’t mean this is easy. Figuring out a way to stop loving Parker feels impossible. I haven’t been able to go more than five minutes without thinking about him. A rotation of memories plays on a loop through my mind. I wonder where he is or what he’s doing, if he is thinking about me as much as I’m thinking about him? Or has he already moved on with that bimbo?
I’m standing at the wooden worktable carefully trimming an order of ice blue lacecap hydrangeas. Their scent fills the air and brings me a little happiness. This is the most beautiful time of year at Bloom, when all of my favorite flowers are in season, marigolds, dahlias, peonies. I love them all, but peonies are particularly gorgeous. Especially the pale pink and white ones. They remind me of our garden growing up and I feel a pang of nostalgia each year when they are back in season.
Ellie and Leah are working across from me, trimming bunches of dusty millers and leatherleaf ferns, filler stems for the prearranged bouquets we sell. They are also doing their best to make me smile. This morning they brought me my favorite caramel apple croissant and a coffee for breakfast and switched out our playlist at the shop from Michael Bublé hits to country top 40.
Leah steps away to answer an incoming call, giving Ellie the opportunity to thoughtfully check in with me.
“You okay, Liv?”
“Yeah. I’m okay. One day at a time, I keep telling myself. I know it will get easier.”
“Good girl. I’m really proud of you. Kate told me you guys had a great dinner last night at your mom’s. She said it’s starting to feel a little like it used to. I’m really happy you are getting your family back. That’s one good thing, right?” Ellie’s eyes are full of warmth and I’m reminded that my life isn’t all bad. I have supportive friends who would do anything for me, a successful business that makes my work a joy and my family is back together. On the last front, the adjustment to my dad’s return has been better than I ever expected. It’s a reminder that even without Parker, I am not alone.
“Thanks, Ells Bells. It really was actually… nice. You will be able to see my dad tomorrow when he visits Bloom. He’s coming by for a visit to see the shop and then taking me out for lunch.”
“Wow, Olivia, big steps. That’s great.”
We both turn our attention to Leah who seems to be frustrated with whoever she is talking to on the other end of the call. She eventually puts the person on hold, rolls her eyes to the ceiling and sighs, turning to the two of us.
