AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Being afraid of death, of your mother’s death, doesn’t make you a coward,” I told him hotly. “I was a dick to say that to you.”
“Maybe, but I certainly felt like one,” Shane said with a shrug. “And I realized you were right about her and me. Walking into her room day after day was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I remembered what you said. She’d never admit it, but she always seemed pleased, in her own way, to see me there. Every day was a testament to how you’d been right and proof that I really had been running and hiding.”
“Which again,” I added in annoyance, “is normal. The important part is you realized it and took steps to make up for it. You’re a human being, Shane, even if you try to act otherwise sometimes.”
My anger only seemed to please him. “You’re such a hothead. You know that?”
“My almost juvenile record can attest to that,” I shot back.
His smile became gentler. “And you were right about me lying about us too.”
My anger fizzled out immediately, and I stared at him. “What?”
“It took me a little while, but just…having you back, being able to see you every day without feeling like there was a wall of ice between us. Hearing you talk, seeing you smile at me, all those little things began to make more sense.”
“Sense, how does that make sense?”
“Because I steadily grew to hate that there was still this distance between us. Even though we could touch and talk and smile, I couldn’t reach out and truly touch you. I wouldn’t be able to see that content expression on your face as we lay in bed together, to feel the heat of your gaze on me when you were thinking about me without my clothes on, or to feel your lips pressing on mine,” Shane said with a scowl. “And I was the one who put that distance there. I put the first one there too, but you bridged that gap because that’s just the kind of person you are. You fight and fight, you argue and snark, but your heart is always in the right place.”
I sat in stunned awe as he spoke, only finally managing to bring myself to life when I realized he was done talking. “I…that was probably, if not definitely, one of the nicest ways anyone has ever described me before. But Shane, are you trying to tell me that you’re…that we…”
Shane leaned forward, his eyes burrowing into mine. “I’m telling you I made a grave error, and there’s no real way for me to make up for it.”
“There might be,” I said slowly.
“By all means, name it. If it’s in my power, it’s yours.”
“You.”
Shane blinked rapidly. “Excuse me?”
I smiled. “If what you said is true, then it’s you I want. Not like before, but with the understanding that we are something.”
“A relationship,” he said slowly.
“A relationship, dating, full monogamy, boyfriends, the full shebang,” I told him with a smirk.
Shane stared at me for several seconds before shaking himself. “You…despite everything. Despite what I put you through, you’re still interested in being with someone like me?”
“With someone like you? Good God, no,” I said with a snort. “That sounds like absolute hell. I want to be with you.”
Shane continued to stare at me, disbelieving. “Are you sure you didn’t fall out there and hit your head?”
I rolled my eyes. “You were the one who said you watched me the whole way down here. So you tell me if I fell.”
“Well, you certainly didn’t appear to, but I’m still suspecting you suffered some form of head trauma on the way here.”
“Jackass,” I told him fondly. “Is it really so hard to believe?”
“After the hell I put you through? Yes.”
“Don’t get me wrong, it sucked. And I wasn’t happy with you, but…I’m not going to sit here and punish you for something I always suspected.”
“What?” he asked. “That I’m a jackass?”
I pushed myself up and stepped around the table to sit next to him, reaching out to take his hand in mine. “That when it comes to emotions, you aren’t exactly at the top of your class.”
“I suppose that’s the kindest way to call me emotionally stunted,” he said with a bewildered frown.
