AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But if Blaze telling me all of this as his way of trying to make things right—if he’s willing to try and fix things—then so am I. Well, I think I am.
Do I trust Blaze anymore? Hell no. Am I sure that I want to mend our friendship and possibly turn it into something more? I think that depends on how this conversation goes.
But I’m not shutting him down like he did to me. I miss him too much to not at least have the option of working things out with him. And if we’re going to do that, then we need to be honest with each other.
So I nod slowly, watching as his nostrils flare before he takes a deep breath. He’s smart—there’s no way he hasn’t figured out that David made me.
Doesn’t mean he’s not pissed at you, though. He said he’s still angry.
“Okay. So—right. Okay. I was too angry to think straight, I guess. All I saw was that you left like—like she had. All I saw was that you didn’t fight for our friendship. For me. I felt like I was...”
My gaze falls to my hands, clasped in my lap. I already know how he felt, because it was exactly how his own mother made him feel all those years ago. “Like you were nothing. Blaze, I’m so-”
“Don’t apologize again. You’re the one who deserves an apology, Daisy.” He finally sits right next to me. “We ignored each other for a long time, and it hurt like hell for both of us. But the way I treated you—I took it too far. I took it way too far.
“When you apologized to me, I was so bitter. Because I never tried to heal. Because I never worked through the pain. And that’s on me and me alone. I’m so sorry, Daisy. I’m so, so sorry.”
I blink, expecting there to be tears in my eyes and grateful there aren’t. I think I must be too shocked. “Where is all of this coming from?”
He chuckles, although there’s not much amusement in it. “Dom. He lectured me yesterday. And then I called him last night when I realized he was right, and he helped me work through some of the shit I’ve been thinking and feeling.”
When Blaze’s hand reaches out to touch my cheek, I pull away. His hand falls onto the couch as he lets out a little sigh.
“What exactly was Dom right about?” I chew on my bottom lip.
After a second of Blaze staring out the window with a faraway look on his face, he brings his eyes to meet mine. “That I was hurting you to try to punish you while simultaneously wanting you back. I was using Charlie as an excuse, but Dom saw right through it.”
“Using Charlie as an excuse?”
“She needed to get married by the end of the year to get her inheritance from her grandfather. The plan had been to play it off as a normal wedding, and honestly, I didn’t care. At the time, I thought I’d lost you forever, and I didn’t think I’d ever want anyone else. Still feel that way.”
He pauses, watching me, letting his words sink in. Then he continues, “She’s always known how much I care about you. So she asked me to continue staying away from you, just until we could pull off fooling everyone into thinking our relationship was real.
“That was maybe a week or two before you broke up with David and apologized to me. I was still so angry. You started hanging out with us again since you weren’t caught up in wedding planning and shit, and I didn’t know how I could be around you without... wanting you. So I latched onto the idea that the best way to keep you away from me was to hurt you. But it was really just an excuse to make you feel the way you made me feel. I... I enjoyed hurting you, Brooke. I hated seeing you hurt, but at the same time, I loved it. And I’m sorry.”
I don’t say anything, taking it all in. He enjoyed hurting me. And as I think about our fight in the woods, and how satisfied he looked when I finally admitted out loud that I miss him, I shiver.
“You enjoyed it last night, too.”
After a painful pause, Blaze nods. “I did. If I could take it all back, I would, Daisy. I promise. And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Hell, all I deserve is for you to kick me out of the house. That’s exactly what I did to you, after you laid out your heart for me and I trampled all over it.”
I rub my bare arms as goosebumps form on my skin. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t...”
How am I supposed to trust someone who, not even twenty-four hours ago, took pleasure in tearing me apart?
And why the hell do I want to forgive him?
Blaze stands, grabbing a throw blanket from a basket by the end of the couch. He drapes it over my shoulders before sitting down.
I just watch him, my head spinning.
“When we were kids, I think I was a little obsessed with you. And as we got older, Alex made sure we all knew that you were off limits.” He pauses, smiling at my scowl. “I think he knew how I felt about you all along. He made me promise to wait to date you until after you graduated from college. Didn’t want you distracted.”
I frown. I know Blaze has had his fair share of hookups. But looking back, I don’t think he’s ever had an actual girlfriend.
“I always knew there was a chance you’d fall in love with someone else. When it happened, I just made myself okay with it. I needed you in my life however I could get you.”
So did I. And then I shoved you away when I needed you most.
