AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A shiver runs through me. Whenever I’m stressed, that crash finds a way back into my dreams, and it always ends with Xander lying on the ground, lifeless, blood seeping from his body.
Gone, forever.
I cover my mouth to stifle a sob. In a single movement, Alexander pulls me close to him, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his lips to the top of my head.
I don’t even try to resist. The part of me that’s still shaken from my nightmare needs this reassurance that he’s still alive, that he made it out in one piece. That he came back to me—even if it was just to leave me later.
“How often?” he asks.
It takes me a moment to realize what he means—how often I still have nightmares about his kidnapping. About almost losing him.
“Once or twice a month, usually. Whenever I’m stressed, or I see something that reminds me of it.”
He holds me tighter. “I didn’t think it would still affect you that much.”
I stiffen. “Why, because you left me?” Anger rises in my chest, replacing the deep sorrow that’s haunted me for years. I shove away from him, stumbling backward.
“Because I didn’t think you still cared.”
His words pierce me like a knife. Because he saw how heartbroken I was. How I was a lifeless shell for the rest of senior year.
“If I recall correctly, you were always the heartless one,” I say flatly.
He reaches for me, but I bat his hand away. Anger flashes through his eyes, but it’s gone in an instant. With a deep breath, he says, “I was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me? From what? You ruined me. You tore me into pieces. I was willing to leave everything for you, Alexander. I was yours. And you left.”
He grabs me, and when I resist, he just holds me tighter. “You think I wanted to leave you? You think I wasn’t torn up just as much? I loved you, Sophia Aswall, and I’ll never fucking stop.”
“Then why?” I shout. “Why did you leave me?”
He claps a hand over my mouth. “Calm down. People are sleeping.”
I glare up at him, waiting for a response. But he doesn’t give one. He just glares back.
For a moment, I care. I give him the benefit of the doubt and tell myself he wouldn’t leave me without a good reason. But I dash the hope rising up in me in an instant.
Because it can’t be true. It doesn’t make sense, and we both know it.
Yanking his hand away, I say, “You don’t get to destroy me, abandon me for five years, and then swoop back into my life and think I’ll fall into your arms because you’re a good fuck.”
His grip on me loosens ever so slightly, and I use it to squirm out of his arms.
“Sophia, don’t do this.” His eyes are dark, threatening. Just like they were this morning at the coffee shop.
“Either give me answers, or get the fuck out of my life.”
His jaw clenches, and I can see him struggling to lock up his fury in a little box.
Good. He doesn’t own me, and he needs to know it.
“My father forced my hand. Either I broke up with you, or he was going to ship me off to a boarding school for the rest of senior year. So I chose to at least be near you, even if I couldn’t have you.”
I snort. “And then we barely saw each other after graduation.”
“Sophia—”
“No! I don’t believe you. Your father couldn’t control you after you turned eighteen. You always talked about getting out from under his thumb as soon as you could. So what the fuck changed, Alexander?” I’m slowly backing away from him, watching his anger morph into pain.
