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But the dread is what ate at me during the short drive to work. The feeling that he’s using me, and he’ll drop me the second I become inconvenient.
Just like last time.
By the time I’m home, all I want to do is shower and collapse into bed for twelve hours. Rachel and Victoria aren’t home, so I have the bathroom to myself.
I turn on the water and strip out of my clothes, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. I know I probably look terrible.
When I step into the shower, I let out a hiss. Our water heater broke a few days ago, and our landlord isn’t answering his goddamn phone.
I wash my hair and scrub my body quickly, and when I exit the shower, I’m covered in goosebumps. After toweling myself off, I pull on a hoodie and some shorts, and then jump under my covers.
Despite the sunlight streaming through my windows, sleep overtakes me, even as my mind reels with anger.
Fuck our water heater. Fuck today. And fuck Alexander.
MY MEMORIES COME back to haunt me in my sleep.
He’s driving, with a hand on my leg, dangerously close to slipping up my skirt. We’re laughing, happy to be free from school for the day.
And then a car pulls out in front of us, and the sickening sound of glass shattering and metal crunching reverberates in my ears.
I taste blood.
“Soph-Sophia, are you okay?” He’s reaching for me, wiping blood off my lip, always taking care of me before himself.
And then he’s gone, yanked out of the car. He struggles, but it doesn’t matter.
I scream as the gun lets loose, wishing I could turn away, wishing I didn’t have to lose him again.
“SOPHIA!”
I WAKE to a hand on my shoulder, shaking me. Rachel.
I jump, gasping for air. There are tears in my eyes.
It’s dark, and according to my clock, it’s a little after ten.
“You okay?”
I let my body relax and fall back into my pillows. It was just a dream. It’s over. It doesn’t matter anymore. “I’m fine. What do you need?”
“There’s some dude waiting for you downstairs. He’s super hot.”
“Tell him to fuck off,” I grumble, burrowing into my pillow.
“Uh-uh, Soph. You’ve rejected too many great guys. I’m not letting you blow this chance!” She grabs my covers and yanks, exposing my legs.
I shriek as the cold air hits my skin. “Seriously?!”
“Get up, brush your teeth, and do something with your hair. I’m not sending him away, so you’ll have to do it yourself. And you definitely don’t want to do it looking like you do right now.” Her voice is playful, but there’s a bit of concern in her eyes.
“Fine.”
“Good.” Rachel leaves, but not before flipping on the light and blinding me.
“Fuck you,” I yell, shutting my eyes. But I know she means well, and I need to get this conversation over with anyway.
After freshening up and realizing there’s nothing I can do about my bloodshot eyes, I head downstairs. Alexander is in the entryway, and I hate the feeling of relief that hits me when I see him there, alive. Not bleeding out.
