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“Steven.” I don’t need to say more and from the way his body locks, I know he’s fighting the anger that roars inside him. I open my mouth to say something, anything to get rid of the silence, but I stop myself because what else is there to say?
“Why?” he questions, the disbelief evident as his hand lifts, lightly cupping my cheek.
I close my eyes, the sensation of his touch causing more tears to fall because I missed this. I missed the man that would do just about anything to protect me and I didn’t realize how much I missed him until this moment. His thumb lightly brushes the bruise that is now beginning to darken under my eye as I repeat his question in my head. Why? I take a breath, not really knowing where to start.
“Lots of reasons,” I say before I chicken out. “I didn’t put away the groceries in the order he wanted; they were in the wrong place and messy, so I deserved to be punished.”
He flinches, his hand dropping from my cheek and resting on my knees as he comes closer.
“I didn’t do the laundry on the day he specified, I forgot to iron the tie he wanted to wear to work… you name it, I did it and did it wrong so he reminded me how displeased he was with me.”
His eyes darken, the anger palpable as he sits there silently waiting for me to continue. When I don’t, he closes his eyes and takes a breath before zeroing in on my eye once more.
“What caused this?” My chest constricts as I dip my head to my chest.
“It’s not important, Cash. What’s important is that I got out.”
He shakes his head, grasping my hand tighter in his and squeezing.
“It is important,” he says, and I know that he won’t leave this alone until I answer him.
“I made myself some soup for lunch and I guess I didn’t put the cans back in their right order, so he backhanded me across the face.”
The silence is deafening and for a second, I wonder if he even heard me because his facial expression has not changed.
“Where is he?” His voice is low, calculated, and full of so much hatred that I recoil out of his hold.
“No. You are not going after him,” I mutter, watching as Cash gets up, pacing the living room. “Cash, I got out. When I left, he was still at his monthly poker game. He doesn’t even know I’m gone yet.”
“Why did you come here?” he whispers, not looking my way as he stands in front of the bay window that overlooks the water.
The memory of the night I left crashes into me and I have to take a breath.
“The last time you were here, you were adamant that you were in love. Even though I told you over and over again that he was a bad fucking idea…”
Now it’s my turn to be angry.
“You think I don’t know that?” I cry, my eyes filling with tears once more. “You want to stand there and tell me you were right? Rub in the fact that everything you said was true? Go ahead, stand there and tell me ‘I told you so’ because if that’s what you need to do, Cash, then fucking do it!” I expect him to yell back. I expect a fight, but I get silence instead. “I made a fucking mistake, Cash. I can admit that now and yes, I should have listened to you, but I didn’t and I paid the fucking price. Are you happy now?” I cry, throwing my hands up in the air as the burning embarrassment sets my skin on fire. All I want to do is leave, but I have nowhere else to go.
“Fucking hell,” he whispers, shaking his head as he turns toward me. “Of course, I’m not happy, Hannah! You showing up here beat to shit and running from a guy I knew was a piece of shit is killing me from the inside out.”
His words slash at my skin as I fidget where I stand, not knowing what to do.
“You should have come back to me. You should have called me, told me what was going on and I would have fucking been there. I would have been there…” he whispers the last part as if it were a prayer, but I shake my head, knowing that’s bullshit.
It’s a fucking lie because hindsight is twenty-twenty and I know for a fact that he hated me that night. I saw it in his eyes.
“Why would I call you, Cash? The last time we spoke, you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me.”
His head tilts, his brows furrowing as if he has no idea what I’m talking about.
“I asked you point blank if there was a reason for me to stay, and you said fucking nothing. You sat right there.” I point to the couch that holds so many memories for both of us and then look back at him. “You sat right there and let me leave. That was all I needed to know, Cash. You didn’t care that I was leaving.”
Cash’s eyes widen as he takes three steps toward me, causing me to step back.
“You think I don’t care about you? Is that really what you fucking thought?”
I nod, fighting the tears that blur my vision as he looms over me, stoic and angry.
