AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yep, and you needed to bring Jack into things, needed to fuck him in the lounge room while we slept. You needed to go off with Aaron the next night. You needed to mate Finn, after being nearly raped by half the men in Sanctuary and getting chained up for your efforts. You needed to go off with Jack to do god knows what and then you needed to turn the lot of us into a pack. My dads said it can be tough to be the first one, that your mate will often get caught up with her newer mates and forget about you, but I didn’t expect this.”
“Expect what? That I’d get your permission for everything I do?”
There was some extra in my voice, part throaty growl.
“Permission? Never. I know you, Jules. You’d make your own decisions no matter what. It’s half what I love about you. I just thought we were the same—straightforward and honest about what we want and need.”
“And I haven’t been straight with you?”
“You haven’t been anything with me, not lately. When’s the last time you talked to me about what’s been happening? When’s the last time you discussed the pack dynamic with me?” He waited for me to reply, and my mind raced. Apart from the night we were mated when we talked about including Aaron and Hawk, we hadn’t. He nodded when he saw the realisation spread across my face. “You’re caught up with whichever wheel’s the squeakiest. I get that, which is why I asked to talk to you before. But you had things to sort with Brandon and Aaron, issues I have no idea about. Sure, I understood, but here we are. You’ve sorted through a whole lot with them, if your appearance and the noises coming from the tent are anything to go by. If now’s not the time, when is?”
I felt like staggering, felled by his words and the truth he spoke, by the weight of it.
“Will you at least listen to me before making major life decisions?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Will you listen to me if I bring any of my concerns to you?”
“Sure, but—”
“Will you make time for me, sometimes just the two of us, if I need it?”
The memory of our bonding party came flooding back so vividly, it was as if I could smell the scent of beer, hear the nanas cackling away under the tree. When I looked up at him, I saw it. He was hurting. He kept it all behind a pretty tough façade, didn’t let it all hang out like some of the guys, which is what made it so easy to overlook.
“I’m so sorry—”
“I don’t want apologies, princess, I just want you. I want to be a part of your life, know what the fuck is going on and who’s getting added to our pack. I want to know what’s happening, for you to sit down and talk to me about things. This is my first and only pack. Don’t shove me to the outskirts.”
I moved as quickly as a woman swathed in a sheet could on rough terrain. The fabric pulled, caught again, but I didn’t let that stop me from going to him. His arms went around me, his heart racing when I placed my head on his chest.
“Fuck, princess, it feels so good to hold you.”
The suddenly conjured feelings of shame could easily have sucked me down into the abyss, but I just stayed as I was, breathing my mate’s scent in. He smelled of beer and cigarettes and wood smoke, and I clung to that.
“C’mon,” he said, and steered me by the shoulders to a tent.
“Who’s bed’s that?” I asked as we crawled in.
“Finn’s. You needn’t worry about him needing it. He doesn’t sleep here.”
That tugged at me, the troubles with Finn, but right now that was on hold. I’d made overtures, and he’d made it clear he wasn’t ready for that, and Slade was. He reached over and dragged the now dirty sheet from me, throwing it out the flap. I felt weird without it. I was naked before a guy I’d last fucked with two other guys in attendance, but somehow, there was that same old awkwardness couples have when they first get together.
“Here,” he said, tossing me a shirt and some track pants, noting my discomfort. I shrugged them on, the warm soft cotton helping me settle. “So, what’s going on?”
I picked at my toenails for a second. What did I say? I had left it too long if I couldn’t sum up what had been happening in a quick sentence. The vision of the two wolves and their human forms all beat down on me, especially the male’s resemblance to Sylvan, but Slade was right. We were travelling towards certain doom, and there was always going to be something critical going on. If I didn’t make time for my pack, there wouldn’t be one when we went home.
I took a deep breath, and it all came out.
He scooped me up and held me against his chest after I told him about what I’d been feeling about Sylvan’s manipulations and the dream he appeared in, his hands tightening around me as I described the weird mental states the attempted rape had provoked. He went still as I told him about Jack and Hawk, the bower in the forest, and how I’d found out about Brandon’s abilities. I closed my eyes and just felt the kisses he placed in my hair as I talked about Aaron and Brandon, and then lastly, my vision. Then silence fell over the tent.
I ran my fingers over one of his hands, tracing the deep lines, the small white scars that scored the skin, and waited.
“Mum always told me not to rush in with solutions or commentary when either her or Lisa were stressed about something,” Slade said.
“But…”
My heart lifted somewhat. I usually found it annoying, boys always trying to solve things, but I could do with a bit of that right now. When I closed my eyes, the doubts came rushing to the surface, about our ability to succeed at this suicide mission, about my designation as pack leader. I was just a horny girl floundering, I wasn’t fit to lead anyone anywhere.
