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“Jules—”
“We can—”
“It’ll be—”
“We’ll hold a family dinner with all of the relevant people in the married mess. We’ll give it all over to the Mums to organise, and then all we have to do is turn up,” Finn said. “After we’ve had a chance to recharge.”
I sagged within their arms at that and then just relished that feeling. This was a pack, where you could collapse in a heap, knowing there were a bunch of people there to catch you and hold you until you could bring yourself to stand again.
We all drifted over to the bathroom after that. Probably because we all stank. Medieval times might have guaranteed organic food and facilitated the rise of despotic regimes, but internal plumbing left a lot to be desired. The last real wash I’d had was the cold bath in the Uldariel village.
“Fuck, hot water…” Slade groaned as he got under the spray.
“And having an actual shower, rather than a dip in the river,” Aaron said, turning the taps to start the next shower head going.
“Sleeping in a goddam bed,” Jack said, stripping the last of his clothes off. “I don’t even care if you blokes snore at this rate. Sleeping on something other than floorboards is all I want. Well…” His eyes opened a crack as he regarded me, then Hawk, his hands working soap into his groin. When I looked across at Hawk, I saw both of us noted the thickening there with interest.
Could we do this? Sex? After seeing a mass slaughter, attempted sacrifices, the cavern closing in, Max, Sylvan… For a moment, the guys were obscured, and all I saw was Sylvan rugby tackling Lonan into the Black Wolf’s mouth.
“Stop.” My eyes jerked up to see Finn standing on one side of me and Brandon on the other. “Don’t overthink this, don’t indulge in survivor’s guilt. You have a pack, and it's in one piece. The only appropriate response right now is relief, love, and pleasure.”
Finn was using a hint of his alpha tone on me, but I didn’t feel the pulse of his will. Rather, it was more like a psychic hug. He saw me, held me, told me it was all going to be OK, and for once, I could believe him.
“C’mon,” Brandon said, unbuttoning my shirt. “It’s time to join them.”
“It’s time, like I stink, or ‘it’s time’, portentously delivered in a seer-like fashion?” He just smiled at me as he pushed my clothes off, and Finn dropped down to unbutton my pants. “Brandon?”
He didn’t answer me as his hand and Finn’s steered me towards the shower, and I grabbed Hawk’s as I passed and dragged him under the water with us. Then it all got kinda messy. Soap was distributed, rubbed on flanks and up ribcages, between thighs and along backs. We were one big octopus of hands washing each other, not especially efficiently, but plenty sensually.
Finn broke first, pushing me into Slade’s arms as his lips dropped to mine. I wanted this. It was selfish, almost wantonly so after what had just happened, but I guess that’s what human brains are like. My conscience felt like we should hold a vigil for Sylvan to honour what he did, but everything noble and nice was pushed aside for just this—connection. I might have this all snatched away tomorrow. We’d been led around by the nose since I arrived, something I wanted to explore further with Brandon. The White Wolf said I was her conduit now, so who knows when she’d want us to ride to the rescue again? I kissed Finn back with everything I had, felt the burn of our venom as our tongues tangled.
Then I was passed on to Slade, who tipped my head back to kiss my neck, then twisted me around to face him, Finn hard and heavy against my hip.
“You’re OK, princess,” Slade said, pausing for a second. His hazel eyes burned into mine, as if the intensity of his gaze would reassure me. And it did. I could see it there, plain as day, no matter what kind of life we’d lead, he’d do everything he could to make that statement true, for me and for the pack. He dropped his hand to stroke across my stomach before going to my hip. And any child we chose to bring into it.
I answered by kissing him, my heart seizing as I felt the rasp of his beard against my hands, then he folded me against his chest and just held me for a
minute, letting me listen to the rapid thud of his heartbeat, and I felt the strong throb of our bond through the skin to skin contact. Then I felt another hand on my shoulder.
I saw the raw expression on Aaron’s face as soon as he took me in his arms. It was such a strange thing, as the world I’d come from had more in common with the Volken and their macho male bullshit. So to see someone as big and strong as him trembling when he touched me, smoothing the water from my face before tugging me close. He didn’t kiss me or stroke me, he just held me with the vise-like strength of his arms. “You’re safe…” he whispered, more to himself than me. “You’re safe.”
“It’s OK, love.”
We both looked to see Brandon with a hand on each of our shoulders, the kind of radiant look on his face that made him look like he was lit from within.
“You don’t know…” Aaron’s words trailed away as he watched our lover. “Do you?”
Brandon wouldn’t answer. He just smiled as he drew me into his arms, kissed me deep and slow, then rested his forehead on mine for a moment when we were done, before doing the same to Aaron, looking as smug as a cat.
“Hey, stop bogarting the babe.”
I looked up to see Jack hovering at my shoulder, his grin broad and bright as he saw my cranky expression. He pulled me out of Brandon’s grip, spinning me and dipping me down low, as if we were ballroom dancing not naked in the shower.
“Babe?” I growled.
“Honey, sweetheart, darling, or love. You’re mine now, right?”
There, hidden deeply behind the shiny exterior was that lingering thread of doubt, so I put aside my objections to dumb pet names for a second and just relished that what he said was true.
