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“I could hardly stay awake or focus on the room without it spinning. I remember what I thought to be Leeann coming over. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to climb into my bed just to hang out. I was too weak to protest if I wanted to.
“The next morning, my father and Leeann’s dad stormed my room. I was groggy and confused. I had no idea what was going on. When I took in my surroundings, Fran was half naked and trembling in a curled-up ball next to me.
“I couldn’t understand what was going on. She started to cry, saying that I had raped her. I spent the entire fucking day before shitting and puking my brains out. I was too weak to move, and she was accusing me of rape,” I bite out.
“Wait, what?”
“I was so confused, I was fully clothed in the basketball shorts and T-shirt I’d worn all day the day before.” I shake my head. “I thought my father would side with me. I thought he would make the bullshit go away, but he didn’t. He knew how sick I’d been, but he did nothing. I was cuffed and taken to jail. Gregor was the one who stepped in to help.
“Our ties with some powerful people stemmed from that one disaster in my life. Never once did my father get involved. He had a deal with Fran and Leeann’s dad that he was more interested in saving,” I say in disgust. “I lost everything I cared about. I wasn’t allowed to play any sports my senior year. My friends wouldn’t talk to me.
“Leeann had this look in her eyes every time she came around. I felt like she didn’t trust me anymore. It took so long for us to get back to normal. I was so embarrassed over something I never did.”
“Oh, my God. That’s insane,” Sid whispers.
I nod. “You’re the only woman I’ve allowed in my bed since. I’ve slept with my door locked behind me for years. I’ve never had a relationship or sex without a contract, something stating prior consent. When Leeann betrayed me, things got worse. I needed control. I needed a release for all the bullshit.”
“How did Leeann betray you?”
“You heard what I said last night,” I begin to explain. “I shut down at some point. Instead of my father being a dad, he had Leeann spy on my life. I’d just started to figure out how to have a social life with women. A friend mentioned the contracts and arrangements and I took things from there.
“Leeann told Dad and then she used my personal guard against me by sleeping with him, so he’d do her bidding. They tried to blackmail me with pictures and videos of the girls I’d been with and the types of things I’m into. I was violated all over again. This time with cameras in my room.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, I’m not. It’s why I had to get to know you before I approached you. I needed to know they couldn’t get to me through you…that my father couldn’t use you against me.
“I’m sorry for last night. I…I know I pushed you to your limits—”
“Wait, why are you telling me all of this?”
The hurt in her voice causes me to look at her. I study her face. For a moment, I’m at a loss for words. I swallow hard and blink rapidly.
“I know I have a dark side. I should’ve been more gentle with you. I…think I pushed too much.”
Sidney’s face breaks into a huge smile. She scoots closer to me, curling up under my warmth. She reaches her small hand down to grope me over my sweats.
“I didn’t complain once. I was with you the whole time. If I trust you with nothing else, I trust you with my body, Clay,” she purrs up at me. “If that was your dark side, I welcome it to come out anytime you need.”
She kisses my jaw, squeezing the hand wrapped around my length. When we lock eyes, hers twinkle up at me. I cup her face and run my finger over her lips.
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper.
She beams back at me. “I’ve seen you sexy, I’ve seen you pissed off, I’ve seen you confident, but this…this is adorable. It makes you human. I needed that after last night.” She laughs.
“Is that so?” I join her.
“Yes, you were a combination of a pussy warrior and a sex god.” She grins. “A girl could get lost in all that.”
I brush my fingers over her soft cheek. The words almost slip from my lips, but I stop them. To Sidney, this is still a contract arrangement. I know most of her reluctance has been because she has an expiration date in mind.
I want to erase that date. I begin to form the words to tell her just that. As I open my mouth to start, her phone rings. Her brows knit while I take note that it’s not her usual ring tone.
