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“And? Is she secretly kind when no one is around? Do you only care about her because she’s hot? There must be something.”
“I … there’s … we have a history.” It was all Charlie could think of.
“Okay, I’m pushing my luck here,” Violet muttered. “She sounds like a shit girlfriend.”
Charlie wanted to be offended, but he couldn’t find it in him to defend Lauren - not after tonight.
“This is how love ends up,” Charlie said. “It starts out great and then at some point, it goes to shit. It happened with my parents, and it happened with Lauren too.”
“This is how you think love is?”
“Yes.”
Violet stared at him for a long moment. “Wow, you’re the cynic.”
“I prefer realist.”
“Charlie,” Violet said, crossing her arms. “I’m not all experienced in love, so maybe I’m wrong. But I don’t think love is what you’re thinking.”
“It’s a feeling and feelings fade.”
“It’s more like a choice," Violet said. “You can’t love someone all the time. Everyone does things to annoy one another. And sometimes they hurt each other - even … even if they don’t mean to. But staying around, continuing to try because you believe in them and yourself - that’s a choice. And that’s what love could be.”
“Sounds like it could turn abusive. You stay because you think they’re getting better.”
Maybe it was a choice he stayed with Lauren.
“There’s of course a line to be drawn over what is a mistake, and what is a person simply hurting you and continuing to do so. Some people are willing to grow. I think apologies are a good start.”
She looked at him for a moment, as if silently begging him for something. He had no clue what it was for.
“I don’t think those people exist,” he said.
Violet looked disappointed.
“I’d like to think that either one of us could do it,” she said, after a long moment. “But maybe that was just me.”
She turned to go inside, but Charlie grabbed her arm.
“What are you saying?” Charlie asked. He hadn’t dared to hope for another chance at friendship with her but hearing her bring it up had him ready to beg for it.
“We’ve changed, right? We’re out here in the cold having a civil conversation. We’ve had multiple, actually. And if we can change, why not anyone else?”
He stared at her. “Violet,” he said. “That’s all I want.”
She blinked, shock crossing her face. “What did you call me?”
Shit. He had been calling her by her last name for years. But he had been thinking of her first name for longer. Her first name was what he dreamed of.
“I called you Violet.”
“Am I Violet to you now?”
“You,” he paused, giving himself a moment to feel how much he wanted this. “You mentioned people could change, right?”
“Yeah, they can.” She looked at him for a moment, a soft look in her eye. “Charlie.”
Charlie barely heard it past the hammering of his heart, but it was tattooed in his heart the moment she uttered it.
