Page 61 of Giving Up


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My eyelids are heavier than earlier, but my brain is still excited from the coke I snorted an hour ago. I see from the corner of my eye, Chris looking at my hand that starts squeezing Camila’s thigh. He gives me an annoyed look and I relax back into the sofa. I lean toward my friend while Camila makes herself comfortable on my lap and starts talking to Ella.

“I haven’t heard from that girlfriend in a while,” I whisper to my friend. “Does that mean you’re open to sexcapades again?”

“With Camila?” he chuckles. “Don’t you think if I wanted to be involved in your toxic fuckery I would have done so before?”

I laugh because he couldn’t be more right. “It’s not like you haven’t been in toxic fuckeries before.”

“It’s a shit idea, Jake. Not just for me. You’re going to regret it.”

I don’t know if Camila can’t hear us or if she decides being talked about this way is worth it if she can get me in bed afterward.

I don’t really care. When she leans back into me, her back against my chest, and brings one of her soft hands behind to bring my face closer to her, I let her. I indulge in it like it was the first time. I pretend I’m one of those lucky guys Camila Diaz has chosen to give attention to. So many fuckers crave that attention.

“Let me help you clean that shirt, Jake,” she whispers in a sultry voice.

I wrap both my arms around her waist and hold her tight to me. “You want to clean my shirt? You think that makes it up for staining it?”

“I can make it up to you after cleaning it. I’ll be such a good girl, you’ll see.”

The familiarity of her words stirs something in me. Pure lust. It’s not something I want right now, not with her, not like that. But there’s a higher force in me that takes over when it hears the possibility of complete control.

She gets up, grabs my hand, and I let her drag me to the double staircase.

“There’s a bathroom downstairs,” I say as we pass the door to the closest one.

“There are better ones upstairs,” she replies cheekily as she walks up, my stupid self in her tow.

I can already imagine Luke and Chris’ disappointing talk tomorrow morning. ‘Her again?!’ ‘Do you know how many chicks could replace her?’

But none of them could satisfy the sick need I have to possess someone. At least with Camila, I know I’ll get my fix. It will be a disappointing one, but it’s still a fix. Like putting gaffer tape on a wall crack.

Camila pushes a door open, and I falter slightly. “That’s a bedroom, Cam. Come on you’re not even trying to pretend you want something else than a quick fuck.”

“Who said quick?” she giggles.

This is one of Luke’s many guest bedrooms. It has an ensuite bathroom that is shared with another bedroom.

I walk straight to the bathroom and take my shirt off. “Come clean it,” I shout her way.

She pads into the bathroom, huffing loudly, sending some strands of new bangs flying up.

“I like your bangs,” I state drunkenly. “Looks cute on you.”

Her eyes widen, not used to compliments from me. “For real?” she double-checks.

“Yeah, for real. Now clean my shirt, little pet.”

She offers me her sluttiest look, accompanied by a small smile that is nothing but pure anticipation, and grabs my shirt. She settles in front of the double sinks and opens one before rubbing soap on my shirt. I sit on the edge of the bath and watch her intently. She can see me in the mirror, but my eyes are focused on her ass.

“Take your panties off.”

She stills, I watch a wide smile spread on her lips, and finally, she executes.

I get up, push her tight skirt above her hips and sit back down.

“Cam, that’s a nice view, you know? Your thick butt waiting to be spanked while you wash my clothes. I could get used to it.”

Her eyes are back up in a split second, something different in her gaze. She’s sad. I raise an eyebrow as she stops the water flow and puts the soap back next to the sink.

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