Page 50 of Giving Up


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I felt stupid for a second, then I realized it didn’t matter. People talk, his friends are here, and Stoneview’s rumor mill is the busiest in the country. He’ll have been made aware that I went from Goody-two-shoes to Devil wears Prada. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I want the fucker to know I’m moving on without him. I want him to know guys are after me.

You’re a whole new level of petty, Jamie Williams.

I don’t care. I have one thing in mind only: hurt Jake White. Break him like he broke me.

Emily and I walk out of the girls’ bathroom, and I feel like I am in a film. In Mean Girls or something.

Everyone’s eyes are on us. Emily is wearing her cheer uniform and my school skirt is just an inch away from revealing my pink lace panties. Really, I’m just like any other girl in this school who feels sexy enough to show her body or the ones who desperately want guys’ attention. I’m a bit of both probably. Plus, I’ve got revenge on my mind. This tiny skirt empowers me.

My friend and I walk together to the sports field changing rooms. Camila and Beth giggle between themselves by their lockers and I know they’re talking about me. It’s impossible to miss their venomous gazes. I found a note in my locker today.

Stay away from Jake.

I can’t believe Camila is back to her stupid, childish ways when I’m not even dating Jake anymore.

Emily rolls her eyes at them.

“You bitches sound like goats when you laugh.”

“Desperately trying to get Jake’s attention back, Goody? He goes to North Shore High now. I think the sluts over there have a little more to show than you do.”

Camila’s voice is always so collected when she verbally abuses someone. It makes it harder to retort. Whereas when Beth talks, it’s easy to want to just punch her in the face.

“Why are you even here? You don’t do any sport,” Emily ripostes.

“Supporting my friend. God knows she needs it with the shit teammates she has.”

I ignore Camila and start changing into my lacrosse uniform.

Ella passes Emily and me on her way out and as soon as she’s out of view, my friend turns to me, slapping my arm with big eyes.

“I forgot to tell you.Ellasent me a text last night. Ella Baker.”

“What did she want?” I ask as I pull my skort all the way to my waist, snapping the elastic into place.

“She wants help with her audition for Ms. Barry.”

“Whoa, she dances?”

Ms. Barry is where Emily takes most of her dance classes. Ballet, Contemporary, Hip-Hop, Modern Jazz. Em does it all and she’s been doing it at Ms. Barry’s for five years. It’s not just crazy expensive though, it’s practically impossible to get in.

“What did you say?” I ask eagerly.

“No, of course! I can’t help her, what’s Luke going to think? That I’m desperately trying to get close to him or something. No thank you.”

“This isn’t about you and Luke. It might be Ella’s dream to dance. What if she doesn’t get in?”

“Then she wasn’t good enough,” she replies in a stern voice. “I didn’t have anyone to help me when I applied. In fact, my parents were completely against it, and I had to do it behind their backs. On my own.”

“Em…”

“It’s too late anyway. She’s sixteen. Ms. Barry takes first-time kids at the latest fourteen. She believes if you’re passionate it should happen before that age, otherwise, it’s not real passion. It’s just a hobby.”

I look at her intensely. Emily loves dancing and she loves people who love dancing. She helped Ella get a second tryout for the cheer team, she likes the girl. I know she wants to help her for Ms. Barry.

“Stop it, ‘Me,” she cautions. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m not helping her.”

“And potentially ruining a beautiful career. She’s a great cheerleader. She’s got moves, she’s fun and delicate. She’ll basically be you next year.”

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