Page 38 of Giving Up


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The party is right behind me, barely separated by a door frame missing the door and the wall of loud music in the living room. Jake readjusts himself quickly, standing tall in front of me.

Oh, I’m Jake, I’m big and strong and I can scare five-foot girls easily.

Fuck you.

“That was pretty stupid for such a smart girl,” he says loud and clear for Xi and Billie to hear.

Xi is on my right side, still in the doorway of the bathroom. I feel like Jake and I are facing each other like in a western. Ready to shoot. Billie is standing behind him like some pet waiting to bite.

I only notice now that Jake is fitter than he used to be. He used to be big, clearly strong. He’s now more defined. His shoulders are sharper, his muscles leaner. His hair is slightly longer, messier than it used to be. His face is more serious than when he was just Stoneview Prep’s playboy.

Does he really have to be so hot?

“I think we’ve established I wasn’t smart when I started falling for your idiotic games,” I reply to him. The malice in my voice is lethal.

His nostrils flare and I know I’m slowly getting him exactly where I want him. I want him fuming. Out of control. And then I want to leave him here while I happily go home. Free of anger and attachment to him.

“Go home, Jamie. This is not your world. It’s mine, you’re not welcome in it.”

I laugh so coldly he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Is it?” I fake pout with the voice of a Stoneview bimbo. “Is it your world? You don’t want me in it, baby? Boo fucking hoo.” I mock him. I take a step toward him. “You think I’m pathetic, Jake?” This time my voice is hard. “You think I’m using your sister to get closer to you? Who thefuckdo you think you’re talking to?” I push him hard in the chest but this time he expected it and he barely moves. “Iwas there for her when you disappeared.Iwas there when she needed a place to sleep. And you, Jake, where were you when she showed up at my house with a black eye?”

His mouth falls slightly open in shock, eyes wide. His fists close tightly, and his jaw stiffens.

Oh it’s low. It’s very low. Rose is a sensitive topic, especially because he opened up to me about his guilt when it comes to protecting her. I’m hitting him where it hurts.

I guess he shouldn’t have broken my heart. He shouldn’t have taken my pride away from me. Because I feel ruthless. I feel pitiless. I want to break him apart. I want him to fall.

“You want me to tell you what pathetic is? It’s disappearing without a trace and then still believing you can call this yours.” I gesture at my body with a hand. “It’s having to wait for another guy to get me wet before you can stick it in me.”

I hear Xi chuckle mockingly and I can’t help a smile. Especially when I see Billie scowl in shock. Really? What did she think we were doing in this bathroom?

I know his teeth are clashing together when I see his jaw muscle pop again. This time he takes a step toward me.

“You’re going to regret this so fucking bad,” he says through gritted teeth.

“What did you think? That you were going to leave, and I’d wait around like a good girl? Do you even know me? I’m the worst of all, you should know that by now. The innocent look with a real bitch underneath. You thought you could go away, fuck your slut, and expect me to suck you off as a reward for coming back?”

I’m not done. I have so much more to say, so much more to bring him down from his throne but I’m cut off by Billie-with-the-big-eyes going past Jake, fists raised.

“Bitch, call me a slut once more!”

“Billie—” Jake’s voice is hard.

My eyes widen as I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get punched in the face for the first time in my life when I feel a hand grab my top and pull me away. Billie’s fists drop but her eyes on me are sharp.

“Alright, alright, I feel like the party spirit is dying over here.” Rose’s raspy voice makes me relax. The girl just saved my life, or at least my nose. I didn’t even know she was behind me. I should have recognized the flowery scent mixed with whiskey.

Jake shakes his head at his twin, standing right behind me, her arm now resting on my shoulder, her hand hanging right below my tits.

“Why would you invite her here?” Jake scowls at his twin. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“First of all, you’re the one who showed up unexpectedly,” she chuckles. She’s more than drunk and doesn’t have much argument but at least she’s got my back.

“Get the bitch out of here,” Billie orders. “She’s not welcome in my house. Fuck, she’s not welcome on the North Shore.”

So it’s Xi’sandBillie’s house. They’re not related though, that’s clear enough. Xi is clearly Mediterranean, Greek maybe? Billie is white trash. Plain and simple. And the bitch iskicking me outof the North Shore.

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