Page 30 of Giving Up


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When it comes to me, I don’t hesitate and take a big swig. I’m so ready for tonight.

I don’t know how long has passed when I realize our circle has gotten bigger and we’ve all changed places.

Emily is outside of the circle, slowly grinding on Dylan. He’s clearly loving the preppy Stoneview type, and I have to take my gaze away when I notice one of his hands has snuck under the Tommy Hilfiger ‘dress’.

Rose is across from me, facing me with her back against the rest of the room. She’s got one hand on Tamar’s hip and another holding a bottle of whiskey.

I don’t know when I ended up between Emma and Xi, leaning against the wall, but I wouldn’t move for the world.

Oh, how nice it is to finally truly feel something as a guy hits on me. And I’m not saying emotionally. I’m forever broken emotionally, thanks to Jake. But my pussy is finally waking up after a long, dormant period without Jake’s touch.

Xi’s hand has been on my lower back for who knows how long and when he finally decides to drop it to my ass, I look up at him, eyes full of lust. His are so dark they look black, and I’d happily lick his dark skin.

“There’s only a mouthful left. Do you want it?” he says, shaking the nearly empty bottle of tequila in front of me.

“Of course she wants it, don’t be an asshole,” Emma laughs.

She’s drunk but so am I. Who thought I would have talked so much with Emma? It started with her saying that my nails were in desperate need of a manicure. I had to admit that I could never afford one. I think that’s when she realized I wasn’t typical Stonview. Aka I am poor. She offered to do my nails and it went from there.

She couldn’t believe it when I told her that my parents used to live on the North Shore. And she and Xi laughed when I said they left because my dad became sheriff. ‘You would have been eaten alive here, babe. It’s a good thing you moved there,’ she said. And when I told her I was being eaten alive at Stoneview Prep anyway, she got all protective, telling me she would happily come to kick some preppy ass for me.

I don’t know how this happened, but I think I just became friends with a member of the North Shore Crew. Fuck yeah. Tonight, I’m a bad bitch.

“Fine,” Xi fakes a sigh.

I think he’s going to pass me the bottle, but he brings it to his mouth and finishes it. I open my mouth to complain when he grabs my face with both hands and smashes his lips on mine.

I gasp at the shock and quickly feel the liquid pass my lips. The alcohol burns my throat despite having had it all evening. His hands on my cheeks are hot and I almost melt under him. One hand leaves my face to land on my ass cheek and grabs me as he pulls me closer. Our tongues twist together in such hotness I feel my underwear dampen in seconds.

Hell. This guy is hot as hell.

“What the fuck?! Billie is here!” I hear Emma yell behind me.

Xi retreats so quickly I almost fall over, my body turning cold at the lack of his heat.

Shit.Is Billie his girlfriend or something?

But when I turn to the rest of the group, I understand she probably isn’t. Emma, Xi, and Dylan all look so happy to see the brown hair girl coming our way that I think the excitement is just general. She’s followed by two guys that I can’t quite see with all the smoke.

I understand Rose knows Billie too when she turns around in a smile, but I believe hers drops at the same time as mine when the two guys following appear to be Nathan and Sam.

“Fuck,” I hear her groan even over the music. Tamar steps away from Rose in a split second and I can see my friend’s eyes rolling quickly. Almost imperceptibly.

“Someone’s in trouble,” Emma teases. “It’s past your bedtime, Rose.”

Rose doesn’t even turn around to look at Emma to reply. “Shut u–”

I have to squint my eyes to see why she stopped so suddenly. But when it hits, time stops for me.

It takes a long time for my heart to climb the tall ladder all the way to heaven just to take the plunge and crash down all the way down in my stomach. But when it lands, fuck do I feel it.

It’s the first time in my life I hear Rose White shriek with happiness. She jumps on the spot before pushing past Nathan and landing in her twin’s arms.

My whole world spins and I feel like I’m about to fall. By some miracle, I manage to stay up. Everything I’ve ingested tonight threatens to come back up. By some second miracle, it doesn’t.

When Rose finally steps away, I get tunnel vision. There is nothing else in this room. No one else. No music, no suffocating smoke, no bright neon.

Nothing.

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