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“Wish me luck,” I smile at Ozy. “I’m getting my girl back and bringing her into our fucked-up world for good.”
I walk into the room and feel like I can finally take a breath. It’s like I’ve been holding it all my life. Jamie is sitting on her hospital bed, already dressed and ready to go.
I’ve been trying to see her for hours, long before she woke up. Caroline Williams just wouldn’t let me in. I’ve been torn between respecting her mom’s choices, and fucking everything up and forcing my way in.
“Angel,” I say in the most reassuring voice possible.
I still sound raspy from the fight with Aaron and I’m starting to wonder if it will ever go away. My throat is swollen, the bruises are at their deepest purple, and I guess only time will tell.
She looks up and when I see the tears on her face, I want to die right here and then. Seeing Jamie sad is the deepest pain that can pierce my heart. I practically teleport myself next to her and grab her face in mine, but she shrugs me away.
“Angel, what’s wrong? Are you hurting?”
I would cut my arm off if it meant Jamie wouldn’t be in pain. She looks so distressed, and I need to know what’s going on.
“Jake,” she says in a tight voice.
“Yes, baby?”
She shakes her head and more tears come.
That’s when I get it. That’s when I realize the tears aren’t because of physical pain.
She’s heartbroken.
“Jamie…”
“Don’t, please. Don’t speak. Don’t be sweet.”
“Jamie, you’re about to make a big mistake,” I say in a rush, ignoring her request. “Don’t do this to us.”
“We can’t do this,” she insists.
“I love you,” I cut her off. I need her to know. “I…that means something. I don’t just love you, you’re my everything.”
My heart is beating so fast, I think I’m about to have a panic attack. I’ve never felt this way before. Not out oflove.The fear is so real, my hands are trembling. I try to keep my face blank, but I can feel my features starting to twist from the pain.
“We tried, Jake. We tried and we couldn’t make it work.”
“That’s okay, that’s okay,” I panic.
I take her hands in mine and take a step to be as close to her as possible. Her head is right below my chest, exactly where it’s supposed to be. I look down at her as she looks up. “We’ll start all over again-”
“Jake,” she tries.
I don’t let her.
“We’ll go back to the very beginning, Jamie. I don’t care, we’ll be friends first if that’s what you want. All this? It was my fault, I was meant to leave you alone and I couldn’t. I tried to end us and I failed, I dragged you along…”
“Jake-”
Don’t let her talk! She’ll break your heart!
Jamie broke down all my walls, I have no defenses left. I only have my purest form of emotions. I only have her to give my love to.
“Let’s be friends. We can do that because it means there’s still hope. Right? Tell me there’s still hope, Angel.”
“If we could be friends, we would have been,” she replies.
