Page 164 of Giving Up


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My eyes widen, my pout growing stronger. “Did he?”

“Yah, but I took care of it now. See?”

He points at the destroyed sunflower now lying on the ground with his stick. Its yellow petals and seeds are spread everywhere. It’s a massacre.

“Mr. Sunflower will never disrespect you again.”

“Wow,” I gasp. “You’re my hero! My favorite poohead hero.”

I break into a laugh as his face falls.

“Call me a poohead once more,” he growls. “I’ll tell Dad you made me destroy Mr. Diaz’ sunflowers.”

“But I didn’t ask you to,” I argue back.

“Ihadto, ‘Me. A big brother always defends his sister. I’ll always defend you, okay?”

I nod quickly, proud to have my personal knight. “Okay,” I smile.

“Now I’ll race you to the house. Loser is a stinky poohead.”

“Hey!!!” I scream as I break into a sprint after him.

They push and they push, and they push at me. All the people around me are moving, either because they’re escaping the room or celebrating. Some people chose the wrong side, and they need to leave in a hurry. Some people are laughing and shouting as we all watch Jake’s body being carried out of the cage.

My heart does not know how to feel anymore.

What are you meant to feel when you just watched your long-lost brother kill the love of your life?

When you watched the life slip away from him, when you screamed helplessly knowing he couldn’t hear you anymore?

My family was always meant to be everything to me. But as time passed, family lost its meaning. It was a mix of my own experience and learning about Jake’s one.

I love Jake with all my being. With a soul-shattering bond that can never be broken. Not as long as we’re both here for the other.

But Jake is gone. He’s gone.

There are no tears on my cheeks, no sobs breaking from my chest. I’m a standing pillar as everyone moves around me. This is too confusing, too much to take in.

I was not meant to see this fight. Dickie kicked me out of the building, and I found my way back in.

I was not meant to see Aaron’s blood spill as Jake beat him up.

I was not meant to watch Jake fall to the floor.

It rang so loudly in my ears when he did. The fall of a God shaking the earth and pushing my whole body to bow in pain.

What is the point of my brother being back if my reason to live is gone?

I’m in shock. That’s the only explanation as to why I am incapable of moving or feeling. It doesn’t make sense. Jake can’t die. He’s mine.

He can’t die because we’re meant to be. Our hearts beat in unison, when he breathes, I breathe. Our souls are linked, when he shines, I shine.

So what happens when his heart stops beating? What happens when his soul leaves us?

“Jamie,Jamie!” A voice hisses at me. “Wake the fuck up, we need to leave. This place is about to turn into Wolf central and if we stay one more minute, we’re dead meat.”

My eyes focus on Billie, but my mouth can’t function, and my body can’t move.

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