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I gag and he puts a reassuring hand on my head, stroking my hair. Why am I struggling? It wouldn’t be the first time I sucked his dick. He’s big, but I usually manage.
“Breathe through your nose,” he says in a husky voice.
I suddenly have a flash, imagining Jake’s voice telling me this. His dark voice ordering me to take it like an angel. Pleasure pools between my legs as I see his face instead of Nathan’s. I pull back in a rush, disgusted with myself.
“I-I can’t,” I whisper, guilt eating at my guts.
He sits up and puts his hand on my arms, warming me up. “Hey, hey that’s fine. You don’t have to.” The hardness in his voice is completely gone, replaced by his reassuring tone that always makes me feel good.
I nod but I can’t shake that awful feeling. I remember moments with Jake. That mix of fear and anticipation. I can’t help recalling all the times he made me feel good and I was actually dying to have his dick in my mouth. I just could never admit it.
Why? Why am I like this?
Nathan puts his arms around me, lays back down on the bed, and takes me with him. “‘Me, I’m serious. I don’t care. As long as I have you next to me, I’m in no rush.”
I smile in his arms, lying face down on him, my head in the crook of his neck. I feel my eyes getting heavy from the post-orgasm haze and close them, thinking how lucky I am to have Nathan in my life and how I cannot mess this up again.
