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I don’t know where to go and I can hear Jake catching up so, just like the stupid girl I am, I stop dead in my tracks. He’s going to catch me anyway.
What Jake wants, Jake gets. I should know this by now.
“What’s wrong with you,” he breathes as he catches up. “Why are you running?”
I snap around to face him. “Is this what you want from me? To turn me into an addicted girl who can’t refuse you anything? Who begs for you to stay? Who willingly lets you play with her in your twisted ways? For what?” I take a deep breath as confusion and regret settle on his face. “So you can throw me away like a rag doll just like you did with Camila?”
“Jamie–”
“I can’t do this, Jake. I can’t be your plaything. It’s not who I am, and I won’t stoop down to this. I want respect. I want love and honesty. And that’s not something you can give me.”
He snickers coldly. “But is that something Nate could give you?”
My blood turns boiling hot at him bringing this up again. “So what if he did?!” I bring both my hands flat against his chest and push him hard, but he doesn’t move. Instead, it forces me to step back slightly. “I made my mistakes, but I will not be a pawn in the games you and your brother play. I won’t be the revenge you take on him. Sort yourself out, Jake. Take time to do it yourself because no girl, no one nightstand, and no plaything will ever fix you. No matter how much you take control over them.”
I see that I’ve hit the right spot when he takes a step back. “You’ve made up your mind and you won’t even let me prove you wrong,” he says in frustration.
“I’m no different from Camila. Just new and shiny. Just giving you a hard time. But I’m human. I’ll fall for you, hard and deep and you’ll get bored. You’ll grow bored when I don’t turn out the way you want me to or worse…when I do and there’s no more fun for you.”
“You are the opposite of Camila, Jamie. She’s no fucking angel, trust me! You’re so far from being like her you wouldn’t even understand.”
“And maybe that’s what is attracting you to me, but you don’t know me! I know we’re physically attracted to each other, but these things are ephemerals. I don’t know you, Jake.”
I see him thinking about it for a long minute. He’s clearly conflicted but I’m not going to wait for him to decide I’m not worth it. I’m making that decision for both of us.
“I’m going back to class. Hopefully, it’s not too late to hand in our work. Thanks for writing it.”
I go around him to walk back to the building, but he grabs my elbow gently.
“Wait.”
I stop and turn my head to look at him. “Jake…” I sigh.
“Come with me.” He pulls me and starts walking.
And I follow.
My brain is screaming at me to go back to class, to go back to my life, try my best to forget about him but my body gives in. It always does.
