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Before I realize who’s grabbing me, I see Camila flinch as a hand takes a strong hold of the back of her neck. She’s snatched to the side and I watch Jake tightening his hold as he bends his head to talk to her.
“You and I need to have a chat,” he hisses. I watch her face fall in fear. Jake is fuming and I can see him almost trembling trying to hold back, the nice act he puts on at school crumbling down.
He walks past me without as much as a glance toward me and drags Camila with him. The hands holding me let me go and I turn around to face Chris.
“You would have regretted it. You know this would have turned against you,” he explains in a soft, reassuring voice.
“Thank you,” I breathe out. It would have turned against me. Who am I? A nobody. Everyone would take her defense. She practically begged me to punch her so she could get me kicked out of school.
“I need the restroom,” I say, trying to hold back my tears.
I run out of the room and hurry to the bathroom, but before I can reach my destination, I find Jake cornering Camila against a row of lockers. Neither one of them can see me but I can hear them very well. Jealousy pinches my guts until I hear what he’s saying to her.
“I swear to God, Camila, if her name so much as crosses your lips one more time you’re going to regret it so, so bad.”
“I know,” she whimpers. “It won’t.”
“How many times did I warn you, huh? You know me, you should know my threats don’t go empty.”
A heavy silence falls in the hallway as she squirms under his touch.
“Touch me,” she finally says. Surely, she can’t be serious. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I did this to piss you off. I wanted to bring out our games again. Please, baby, touch me.” She grabs his hand and tries to put it under her skirt, but he pulls it away.
“Stop with this shit, you hear me? It’s over. I don’t want anything to do with you or your pussy. Imprint this on your brain because I’m not going to repeat myself. Next time there’ll be no warning.”
“You can’t leave me,” she starts crying. “After what you did on Friday? You practically killed me while fingering me and I took it, for you.”
My heart breaks at her words. He had sex with her on Friday. How? How could I be so stupid? How could I think he would actually be different with me?
“I did everything for you,” Camila insists. “Everything you asked. I changed who I was, I became what you wanted to please you. You can’t just throw me away.”
“But I can, Cam. You’re not interesting to me anymore. You bore me to death, and you couldn’t get me hard even if you choked on my dick.”
I retreat slightly at his words. He’s so horrible to her. Camila has made my life hell, but she said it herself: she’s a hurt woman. And Jake did this to her.
I feel bad for her. She is in love with him. He toyed with her for two years, pushing and pulling at her and she let him. Five days of the week he pretended to love her and every weekend he cheated on her. She took him back every time because that’s what love does to you.
And now I’m his new toy. It excites him. He wants to break me and build me back up exactly how he likes. The same way he did with her. And it’s already working, I’m already falling into the addiction, I’m already feeling jealous, I’ve started craving him long before today.
I keep taking steps back as Camila cries genuine tears.
“You’re being pathetic,” I hear Jake say. His words warn me of what my near future could possibly be. And if not in a few months, then maybe in a year. Or two, like Camila. I’ll fall desperately in love with him, and he’ll throw me away the second he gets bored, for someone more exciting. Someone who initially wanted nothing to do with him and made him work for it.
I feel sick thinking of what we did on Saturday. Of what I let him do to me because deep down, I wanted him to fall for me. I wanted him to treat me differently from all the girls before. From Camila. But really, Emily was right. All I did was fall for his tricks. He’s good. He’s very good at this.
I’m just like all of them.
“Jake. Jake! Come back! You can’t leave me, you turned me into this. It’s your fault,” I hear Camila shout but I’m not looking anymore. I’m hurrying away from them and to the bathroom.
I hear his steps behind me, but I don’t stop.
“Jamie,” Jake says calmly in his deep voice.
I accelerate my walk until I’m practically running. He needs to leave me alone. I’m not strong enough, I’ll fall back and I can’t. I just can’t. Him, Nathan…it’s just too much.
I feel tears prickling at the corner of my eyes. How could I be so stupid?
“Jamie!” he shouts after me and this time I run. I sprint out of the doors and into the lawn at the front of the school. Where am I going? I don’t have my bag or my phone. I don’t have the key for my bike. Why do I even lock my bike? No one in this stupid school would ever want to steal it.
