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He chuckles, satisfied from getting me to ask the clingy question.
“You’re mine. That’s what we are,” he replies in all seriousness.
My heart skips a beat when he says that, but the giddiness is quickly replaced by annoyance. It makes no sense to say that. It means nothing except that he’s a possessive fuck and I hate myself for wanting to be his.
“What does that even mean, Jake,” I sigh. “Maybe I don’t want to be yours, maybe I want us on an equal foot where we’re both each other’s.”
“Fine,” he shrugs.
“Fine? Just fine? Don’t you think we should…I don’t know, do things normal couples do. Like, get to know each other or something? Date?”
He chuckles at me, mocking my innocence. “Sure, I’ll take you on a date, Jamie.”
And that’s Jake for you. He likes me. I know he likes me or he wouldn’t just agree to everything I’m saying. But he’s incapable of expressing it in the right way.
“Please don’t sound so enthusiastic about it,” I growl. I feel stupid. He’s making me feel stupid. I hate that, that’s not what I want. I don’t want to become the girlfriend who begs for attention and dates. If he’s going to treat me the same way he treated Camila, I don’t want to be his girlfriend at all.
“God, Jamie,” he sighs. “What do you want from me?”
“I just want to get to know you,” I argue. “Why do you have to be such a prick about it?”
His silence forces my tongue to uncontrollably push words out of my mouth in panic. “Shouldn’t we talk about yesterday at least? Aren’t you going to tell me about Nathan? About your childhood?”
Nothing. A block of stone. Blank, frozen.
“Something? Anything?” I insist, my brain giving up way too slowly for my dignity to stay intact.
Dejection washes coldly over me.
“I-I guess I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t just another notch on your belt. But don’t worry, your reaction says it all,” I conclude.
He takes the one and only step that was separating us and runs his knuckles down my cheek, as if soothing the heat from the sting of rejection.
“You’re not. In fact, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t be with another girl if I tried to, and I don’t even want to try.” My heart accelerates at his words and I gasp slightly when his thumb starts tracing my lips. “But…” He pushes the tip of his thumb ever so slightly against my top lip, just enough to then drag my bottom lip down. My body tingles from the gesture, yet my brain knows that ‘but’ isn’t announcing anything good. “I’m not going to open up to you, I will never talk about my childhood and I’m not going to be the perfect boyfriend to you, Jamie. I don’t really feel like being a boyfriend at all to be honest. This isn’t who I am. I’m possessive, I’m an asshole, and I want you. Your opinion doesn’t matter much to me. You like me, and you can’t resist me so, really, what are you gonna do about it?”
My body starts trembling with anger and humiliation.
“What do you think of me?” I slap his hand away from my face. “That I’m some sort of…of object or something?! Some girl… some toy you can use at your will? That you can just take and take and give nothing in return?”
“I’m not taking,” he explains in his sociopathic way. That way he has of being entirely unempathetic. “You’re offering willingly.”
“I…” I want to defend myself, but nothing comes out, the shock too great.
“I didn’t force you yesterday, I didn’t put you on your knees in front of me. You went willingly, you sucked and swallowed like a good girl and no one forced you.”
“Shut up,” I whisper.
“You knew what I’m like, Angel and you still offered me that sweet little pussy. All I did was help myself to the silver platter.”
The tears that threaten to fall feel like acid in my eyes. My fists are so tight I feel like my knuckles are going to pop.
“Just accept that you’re happy to be mine, Jamie. Why you’re even fighting anymore is beyond me. You had all the information from the beginning, and you still played with me. You’ve fallen too deep to go back now.”
“This is not what I want, Jake. It’s not who I am. I still have some self-respect.”
He lets out a short, mocking bark and pushes his body tighter against mine. “Self-respect? Aren’t you that same girl who cheated on her boyfriend for me? You were with two different men in less than twenty-four hours, Jamie. The good girl act isn’t as believable as it used to be.”
“Why are you being like this? All I wanted was to not make the same mistake I did with Nathan. I wanted us to get to know each other and our pasts before we went into something deeper than sex.”
