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CHAPTER 17
‘I know this cold love won’t lead me to the Lord
Although I’m black and blue, I’m begging you for more’
Chainsmoking – Jacob Banks
Jamie
I’m on the sidewalk before Jake even parks. As soon as he called me, I got ready to hop in his car. It’s late by the time he gets here, and I’ve done nothing but worry today. After getting home, letting mom know I was okay, and showering, my day consisted of laying down on my bed, checking my phone every five minutes, texting Jake every ten, and trying to get as much sleep as possible, which turned out to be pretty much nothing.
He doesn’t come out to open the door for me and my stomach twists. That means he’s not well enough to get out of the car and walk easily. I sit down in the passenger seat and turn to him. I know he can read my concern. Since Jake found me and Nate talking at Cal’s party, it has been tattooed on my face in permanent ink.
I open my mouth to say something, but he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me toward him so quickly all I can do is hitch a breath before his lips crash on mine. His tongue crosses my lips to find my desperate one before his teeth possess my lower lip. When we separate, I’m panting, and my stomach is twisted with pleasure.
“I missed you,” he whispers. His lips are hovering over mine and his eyes staring at my mouth hungrily.
“How are you feeling?” I ask. His eye is puffy now. “You should put ice on this.” I point at his face and he gives me a small smile.
“I did. I’m so sorry about yesterday. I’m sorry for the stress and worry but I’m okay. I promise.”
I have a million questions for him. Did he go to Washington D.C.? Is Rose alright? Did he see a doctor? How did he get back to Stoneview? What’s going to happen with Nate now? I want to ask so much, but I don’t want to remind him this is all my fault.
I hold his hand over the gear stick and smile my most genuine smile. He starts the car and pulls away.
‘I’m in love with you’, my eyes say when he glances at me. I’m dying to tell him. Not because I want to hear it back but because I want him to know someone loves him unconditionally.
“What are your plans for Christmas?” I ask, trying to bring up a new topic. One that will have us looking forward to something rather than look back on the darkness that has started to creep into our lives. “I think mom wants me to go to Tennessee, she won’t be able to come but we can’t exactly afford a plane ticket at the moment.”
“If you want to be with your mom for Christmas, I’ll get you a ticket, Angel,” he replies like this is nothing to him.
I choke on a laugh and stare at him with wide eyes.
“There’s no way I’d ever let you buy something like that for me. I’ll look at the busses.”
It’s his turn to laugh at my idea.
“Absolutely no fucking way. You think I’m going to let you take a ten-hour bus ride to another state on your own? Please.”
My mouth falls open at his nerve. How many times must we have this conversation? How many times do I have to explain that this kind of behavior is not acceptable? I know how he is in the bedroom. I know he needs his shot of alpha bullshit every once in a while, but I’ve already told him bedroom is all he gets.
“Jake,” I say calmly. “You don’t let me do anything. Remember?”
I can see his hands gripping the wheel harder and I know it’s not the moment to have this conversation. He’s been through enough in the past twenty-four hours. We both have.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re not getting on such a long trip on your own. Anything could happen.”
Anger bubbles in me when I see he’s not letting go and I can’t let this slip.
“I think I’m independent enough to decide what is safe for me or not.”
“I think if you keep contradicting me with that pretty mouth of yours, you’re going to choke on my dick before we get home.”
I don’t control the pleasure warming my lower belly at his crude words and the lopsided cocky smile on his face tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing. My clit tingles and I squeeze my thighs together to find some release but there’s no point.
“Does that make you wet, Angel? When I tell you you’re gonna choke on my dick?”
I ignore his statement and turn my blushing face to the window.
