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“Oh, I will just tell you now. The color scheme is rose gold and burgundy so I am having all the girls wear rose gold and all the men will be in black suits with burgundy ties.”
“Okay,” I say, wondering if I have any rose-gold dresses. Most likely not, which means I will have to go shopping.
I fight the need to groan. As much as I love shopping, I’ve been steering clear from it ever since I gave birth. My body is so different now and I’ve been dreading clothes shopping. I’ve pretty much been living in leggings and sweaters. Now that it’s mid-April and sweater season is drifting away, I’ve been wondering what to do. I do have all those maternity dresses. I can probably still wear those with a belt, but none of them are rose gold. I doubt the bros will understand the different between red and burgundy.
“Oh, and can I assume you will be bringing Maria?”
Here it comes. “Who else would I be bringing, Mom?” I ask, trying very hard not to sound annoyed and failing.
“Well, I didn’t know if you’d picked up another man in the last five to six months. It’s been a while since I last spoke or saw you. Many things could have happened between then and now.”
Picked up another man? What in the actual fuck? I’m a new mother. I have no time to go gallivanting off, meeting new guys, and bringing them home. Besides, I never did that. Sure, Alex and I started having feelings for each other, but I talked to the bros about it. It turned out fine in the end. I’m not a cheater.
I’m not her.
“No, Mom. I’m not dating anyone new. It will be me, Seth, Hunter, Lucas, Alex, and Maria.”
“Ok. That’s good then. We will have a sitter there to look after Maria.”
I grimace. I don’t know if I feel comfortable with that. “Mom, is it a child-free wedding?”
If it is, she never told me. Although, I never did have a look at her wedding website. I was already angry about the invitation, and I thought the website would make me explode. I’m not angry about her getting married. I’m angry that she didn’t talk to me and flippantly mailed out a wedding invite without us at least talking about what happened.
“No, not at all,” Mom says, but there’s something in her voice that makes me think she really doesn’t want me bringing Maria. “I just think you’ll want some time to yourselves. You know, for dancing and drinking.”
“Well, the bros and I can take turns watching her. If she’s the only baby coming and you’re worried about the ceremony—”
“No, no,” Mom interrupts harshly, “she won’t be the only baby. I’m just…looking out for your best interests.”
My eyes narrow and I’m suddenly seeing red. So there will be other babies there, she just doesn’t want anyone to know that her daughter got knocked up during college. She doesn’t want to explain to them that I’m still finishing college. Mom is worried people are going to judge her and her family because we’re so redneck compared to Bryan and his fancy friends and family.
Great.
Why am I going again?
“Don’t worry, honey,” Mom says sweetly. “We’ll figure it out. I’m just so happy that you’re coming. It’s going to be so nice having you there.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” I say, and for once, I think I’m telling the truth. I really want to go to Mom’s wedding. I don’t want us to be fighting anymore. I also want to dance with the bros, drink, and be merry while eating lavish food.
“Well, I’ll let you go then. I will see you around May 15th. Don’t forget!”
“I won’t,” I say in a sing-song voice before hanging up. That went unexpectedly better than I thought. I wouldn’t say I’m super happy, given Mom still hasn’t accepted Maria, but it’s a start. Maybe when she sees how cute and lovely Maria is, she will fall in love with her, just like we all have.
I enter my bedroom, finding Seth bouncing Maria on his knee. She’s currently wearing the doggie costume with floppy ears. The ears bounce with her movements. She laughs, spittle dripping down her chin.
“All right, enough play time,” I announce while taking her from Seth’s hands. “Dinner time.”
Seth follows me out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen, where I have stored all of my pumped breast milk. I grab several bottles, looking at the dates and deciding which ones need to be chucked and which ones Maria can have. This has become my life now—pumping my milk and throwing a lot of it away. If I don’t pump, I’m in pain, but when I do, I feel like we hardly use any of it.
After going through the bottles, I find one that hasn’t expired and put it in the microwave. Seth goes through the fridge, finding some meat and vegetables. He begins cooking, which I have never seen him do. I’m a bit worried he’s going to burn the vegetables, but it’s hard to watch him and Maria at the same time.
“I’m home!” I hear Alex shout before the door slams shut. “What is that I’m smelling?”
“Boiled milk!” Seth shouts.
“Burning vegetables!” I shout at the same time.
Seth shoots me a dark glare and I giggle as he swats me with a kitchen towel that was lying on the counter. Alex swaggers in, smiling brightly. His face is flushed. He probably just came home from his run.
